The Glacial Pace of the CRTC

It’s said that the Mills of the Gods grind slow –- and they grind woe. If there are mills in the Gatineau offices of the CRTC, they would seem to grind far more slowly, producing endless woe merely because decisions arrive so long after a time when they might have made a difference.

Because that’s how detached from the real world this outmoded regulatory bureaucracy has become.

After a year or more of eliciting input from Canadians under the “Let’s Talk TV” banner, the CRTC then held weeks of hearings so the vested interests of the industry could weigh in on why what their audience wanted should be adjusted to accommodate their own self-interests.

What has resulted so far was a decision from 3 months ago preventing cable subscribers from being dinged for under 30 day cancellation fees and 3 other edicts issued today.

Today’s pronouncements included -- not allowing Broadcast distributors to show data cap favoritism to their own mobile customers; not allowing local stations to eliminate free to air broadcasts and cancelling Simsub (the simultaneous substitution of Canadian commercials for American ones) on one single Sunday night in early 2017.

That would be the Sunday of “Super Bowl LI”, assuming there is still an NFL as we currently understand it, a continued public fervor for commercials –- and a television broadcast of both.

I’ll let others debate the pros and cons of these decisions, because frankly I’ve been writing about how out of touch and behind the times the CRTC is as long as this blog has existed. Search the acronym and you’ll find about 9 years of that stuff.

The one thing I will point out is that all of the decisions so negatively impact the bottom lines of the BDU/ISP silos. And when was the last time you didn’t hear these guys whine they already had no money to make competitive CanCon?

But setting all that aside, the clear reality of what Monsieur Blais and his confreres announced today is that these decisions probably won’t much matter by the time 2017 rolls around.

That’s how fast television technology is evolving.

Take a moment to consider what your own television habits were back in 2012 or 2013. A huge number of you still subscribed to cable. Hardly any of you had sampled Netflix, signed up for Apple TV, plugged in a ROKU unit, or owned a HD TV with a Smart Box –- or operated a DVR.

Given how fast all of those technologies have transformed your lives in that short time, consider for another moment what might be coming down the pike before 2017.

If you need some help…

At the same time the CRTC was making today’s announcements, the App below was being unveiled. Think of it as Skinny-basic with HBO and whatever big league sports you like to watch.

And after you’ve watched the ad, ask yourself how long the CRTC and our other vested interests will try to keep it from the Canadian public in the name of our national interests.

I’m sorry people, but we’re never going to play in the big sandbox as long as we hide (or are hidden) in a roped off corner pretending to be protected while we continue to be fleeced.

When Tuesday Is Really Another Monday

I’ve always felt Mondays were a lot like Opening Night in the Theatre. Everybody comes in ready to kick ass. There’s a specific goal to be achieved. Even the most disinterested member of the audience is primed to get something done.

Similarly most of us start off the work week with a set agenda. We’ve got something to accomplish in the coming days and we’ve caught up on sleep so we’re clear-eyed and firing on all cylinders.

And then comes Tuesday.

In theatrical terms, Tuesday is the second night of the run. You’re still a little hung over from the Opening Night party. And you begin to realize that everything you achieved last night has to be, at the least, repeated and, in the best case, improved upon from here until the final curtain.

Life begins to look like one long obstacle course.

Likewise, we all know that in our work lives, we didn’t get as much done on Monday as we planned. Perhaps some crisis erupted to re-direct our energies. Or maybe, despite all the best intentions, everything just went to rat shit.

So we begin Tuesday with an extra cup of coffee. We attempt to re-group and re-focus, searching for something to bring back our commitment, our creativity and our excitement.

I think this will help.

It’s adrenaline charged, eye-opening and endlessly creative. If you’re not inspired to do something special with your day after this, no amount of coffee will change things.

And you can thank French filmmaker Candide Thovex for turning things around. Please click the Youtube logo and watch full screen.

Sometimes Tuesday can far better than Monday.

Lazy Sunday 360: Pancakes

Sundays are holy to me. Not so much in the religious sense but as a sacrosanct day of rest. A day to step back. Smell the roses. Do what I want rather than what the world might expect or require.

And like any good day, Sunday starts with a good breakfast. The rushed coffee and bagel, the omelette that accompanies an early meeting are nowhere to be found.

I make pancakes.

And I’m good at pancakes.

A pancake just says, “Savor the flavor of the day and its possibilities”.

And pancakes are as easy to make as they are to eat. If something about them seems bland, maybe the following will help you to better…

Enjoy Your Sunday.

Lazy Sunday # 359: Johnny Express

I’m a huge fan of buying things online.

I think I got that way after moving from a big city to more rural surroundings.

In most cities you can usually find whatever you want with minimal effort once you get to know the place. But as places get smaller, you tend to have to drive around a lot more to find something that isn’t a Big Box staple or only appeals to your particular lifestyle niche.

You save time, money and the impact of your carbon footprint by searching online and having it shipped to your door (more often than not free of charge).

Last week I bought something from China that arrived in less time than parcels took when I was a kid after you ordered stuff out of the Eaton’s catalogue.

It arrived in great shape, exactly as ordered and transportation didn’t cost me a penny –- though I did wonder if the environmental impact of air freighting something from Hong Kong might be a little more serious than if I’d spent an afternoon driving from mall to mall.

But online shopping appears to be the way things are going. And while I don’t understand the economic models or what it likely means in the long run for brick and mortar stores, the price of real estate and careers in retail, it’s sure as hell convenient.

I’ve also gotten to know some real nice people who work for the Post Office, UPS and Fedex, who I otherwise wouldn’t have encountered. And being greeted by my overly enthusiastic dog seems to perk up their day as well.

There’s also a kind of magical excitement about opening the package, hoping what’s inside matches the quality and promise of what was advertised.

I also love buying books and software that don’t even get shipped but just instantly download to your hard drive or Kindle – even if that’s not as much fun for the dog.

I hear that if you own a 3D printer you can just type a few lines and make your own car parts and heart valves, although I’m certain you still need some outside assistance having those installed.

Perhaps the day is coming when we won’t have malls, or aisles of products to choose from or even trucks to bring purchases to your door.

To be honest, what I’ll miss most is the thrill of seeing one of those packages coming up the drive. Although Korean filmmaker Kyungmin Woo has a decidedly different take on that…

Enjoy Your Sunday.

Mothballing The Sweater

The word Fan derives from fanatic. Because when you are a fan of a particular sports team, a true fan, you live and die with them, relish their victories and endure their defeats.

Yes, they often disappoint, even embarrass. But that’s the trade off that comes with the commitment. And in those times when they disappoint, you find a reason to keep loving them, to support, to hope they’ll one day find their way.

But sometimes…

This morning, Toronto Maple Leaf forward Phil Kessel, bemoaning his team’s dramatic slump and his own month long scoring drought, wondered aloud, “Oh my God! Who did we piss off?”

Well, I’ll tell you, Phil…

Me.

Maybe the hockey Gods too. But mostly it’s been me.

A couple of weeks ago, the Leafs fired their coach. Not an unusual occurrence for this continually mismanaged team. But one with an unusually cruel twist.

Randy Carlyle was fired while standing at the bedside of his dying brother, over the phone, because he wouldn’t drive 5 hours to Toronto where he could be fired in person.

Yeah, I know. Life’s tough. Professional sports is tougher. Suck it up, Buttercup. It’s about what’s best for the team and winning.

I also know that the prime driver of sport is that it’s supposed to build character.

Odd how character seems to so regularly desert those in the front offices who manage teams filled with athletes of character.

We’ve seen that in the way Major League Baseball looked the other way on Steroids to bring their game back from a strike that was also caused by executives lacking in character.

We’ve seen how the NBA overlooked criminal activities. The NFL has done the same, adding the ongoing medical mistreatment of their players to their exemplification of character.

But what the Leafs did was personal. I’ve lost two brothers. Both younger than me. It’s a special kind of pain. I can’t imagine dealing with it while the people who were supposed to have my back decided that was the moment to pull another rug from under me.

That takes a very special flaw of character. A failure of humanity .

So, my Leaf sweater has been put away for the rest of this season. Maybe longer. I honestly don’t care how far they fall or who in the corner offices suffers for it.

I’ll feel bad about players who deserve better, the same way I feel bad about a dog with a sorry excuse for a master. But the ones with character will find a way to be traded or exercise their free-agency options.

Yeah, Toronto’s a nice city and a terrific place to play hockey. But there are lots of nice cities. Many where being a person of character appears to matter more.

Lazy Sunday # 358: Night Will Fall

It’s been a rough week for free expression. One in which all of us have had to ruminate on our willingness to accept images and ideas we find troubling as well as what we do to end violence in the name of any –ism, be it religious, political or the simple opposition to something we find alien or out of the norm.

This is far from a new struggle. The tough part is we’ve sometimes had the perfect opportunity to take a hard look at such evils and opted to protect ourselves from the pain instead.

In the spring of 1945, the advancing Allied armies in Europe came across a town called Bergen-Belsen, discovering the massive horror of Nazi Germany’s “Final Solution”.

After seeing footage from embedded photographers of the concentration camp, the British government commissioned a documentary to tell the world of its horrors.

Alfred Hitchcock volunteered to lead the team, overseeing the script and recruiting the best combat cameramen from all the Allied nations. What Hitchcock delivered was one of the most powerful indictments of inhumanity ever seen.

And it was never released.

There are many theories on why that happened, from a concern over how it might hamper the reconstruction of Europe to Britain’s own problem with Palestinian Jews clamoring for a homeland.

Now, 70 years later, film-maker Andre Singer has revived Hitchcock’s project with his new documentary “Night Will Fall”.

Using footage from the original film combined with interviews with the men who shot it, camp survivors and some involved in its suppression, Singer has created a powerful indictment of not only the danger of blind dedication to any ideology but the greater danger that comes from those who shush or scold others into silence.

The film will receive a Global broadcast on January 27th. HBO in Canada.

Enjoy Your Sunday.

The Never-Ending Sideshow

I’ve been a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs for as long as I’ve known what the words hockey and fan meant. Yesterday the team fired it’s third coach in four years and thus the decades long sideshow of disappointment threatens to continue...

Sometimes being a Leaf fan is hard and unfathomable and –- well, like this:

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children in her class what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, lawyer....

However, little Paul was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear.

Sometimes, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken, hurriedly set the other children to work and took little Paul aside, "Is that true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs, but it's too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids."

Lazy Sunday # 357: Yearbook

Okay, time to shut the party down and get back to work.

Fun as the holidays were,it’s firmly 2015 and the first official day of nose to the grindstone is Monday.

And if most of you are anything like the so-called journalists of the so-called Main Stream Media, you’ve spent the last few days downloading new productivity apps and boning up on the Life hacks that will give you more time to work more productively.

Allow me to remind you of the Writer’s unspoken code: Less is more.

Your script can always be shorter. You don’t really need that cop character who’s only in one scene even though he has a wonderfully ironic sense of humor.

The same way you’ve been de-cluttering your closets this weekend, you need to remove everything that doesn’t move things forward or enrich character.

By following these simple tenets, many writers have managed to make a living. And in the process have discovered that sanding away the unnecessary in your own life, you get to its inherent truth.

No better illustrated than by way of Bernardo Britto’s 2014 Sundance Film Festival winner for Best Short Film – “The Yearbook”.

Hack away and be productive on Monday.

Meanwhile…

Enjoy Your Sunday.