Coincidentally, the first day of summer is also my first day out of the deep freeze. Literally. For the last two months, I've been locked in ice cold arenas and windowless edit suites filming and finishing a show on figure skating.
SINGLE LUTZ
People on the streets, dressed in shorts and tank tops, would give me funny looks as I shambled past swathed in ski wear, either still thawing out from a long day on the ice or girding myself to face another one.
DOUBLE TOE LOOP
I wandered into a Tim Horton's one evening for a coffee warm up, interrupting all the people complaining about heat waves and smog alerts by stamping the last of the Zamboni slush off my boots. Then I asked the girl behind the counter if I could have some Timbits for my Penguins.
TRIPLE CAMEL TOE
In addition to being the creative behind the piece, I also directed and handled 2nd camera. AND - I completed my first almost solo edit on Final Cut Pro! Nearly made it clear from take off to landing, but had to call for help when it came to authoring. Some part of rendering, composing and encoding still eludes me. It seems like the machine's doing the same thing three times, but I guess it's not.
Anyway, the story here is not that I have evolved into Jim the All-In-One filmmaker. It's that I've fallen in love with Figure Skating.
I know -- me -- macho Cowboy, so-straight-he-has-trouble-getting-around-corners, wouldn't know a sequin from a rhinestone... But there you have it.
I used to think hockey players defined tough. That was revised somewhat when I attended my first Aussie Rules Football game and saw what goes on when the TV cameras and referees are following the ball at the other end of the field! Sweet Mother of God!!! How does anyone survive that sport, let alone with enough still intact to have children???
But I now know that TOUGH is a 15 year old girl, weighing less than her gym bag, who keeps doing triple jumps at 6:00 AM until the clean landings outnumber the face plants; then comes back after school and repeats the process.
I learned that DETERMINATION might be defined by a forward making $5 Million per as he leads his team to the Stanley Cup, but it is more clearly written on the face of a sixteen year old boy who knows he'll be in Whistler in 2010 and isn't settling for silver because his lifts are half a centimeter off true.
And I learned that true DEDICATION resides not in network executives and CRTC Commissioners, but in underpaid coaches who watch the same routine for hours, detect the most infinitesimal flaw and communicate it with a few words that conjure perfection.
As I sat through the long hours of filming, I distracted myself from the possibility that my ass was not merely numb, but had finally completely frozen off -- by comparing what figure skaters go through to what we do in showbiz.
Because what I watched on the Olympic practice rink was light years removed from what I'd always been bored by or found laughable on television.
Skaters spend the same years learning their skills and honing their craft as we do. They have the same cerebral and aesthetic breakthroughs, finally discerning how something works, technically or emotionally. They learn how to tell a story, connect with the audience and elicit the desired reactions from them.
At the end of their creative process, which includes a greater physical component than anything we do (Teamsters and Grips included) they've got as neat a little parable to relate as the films we make.
Then along comes somebody from the network, deciding the work needs to be glitzed up so it'll be noticed in the broadcast clutter, given some flash and pizzazz to overcome the average 90 second attention span, encumbered with a voice-over to explain what they might've missed and gilded with an emotional sidebar to either "connect" with the average viewers -- or ensure a mention on TMZ.com.
In our case, what was unique and special ends up looking like everything else on TV -- and in theirs, they're dripping in sequins with somebody describing a granny who's dying of cancer.
They, like us, spend a lot of time wishing these people could find real jobs so they don't have to get between the artist and the audience.
If you've never had the experience, try to see a skating show live. And I don't mean "The Ice Capades" or "Disney on Ice". Find a competitive skate, where it's just you the music, the lights and skaters. I have no doubt you'll find yourself as transported and inspired as I've been over the last few weeks.
I can't post any of our footage yet, but I will soon. Meantime, I'm including a video of three time world champion Russian Skater, Irina Slutskaya.
Forgive me for choosing a piece where she's dancing to Country music (sung in Russian to add to the weirdness) but hey, it's my Blog. Point is, I tried to find a clip without much network clutter so you can concentrate on what she's doing.
I hope you'll delight in the sheer physicality and Joy of her work. Even if skating isn't your thing, catch the series of spins about 2 minutes in and you'll realize that sometimes great art defies even the laws of physics.
Friday, June 22, 2007
I'VE BEEN ON ICE
Sunday, June 10, 2007
RATINGS PT. 3 - THE PHANTOM FANS
If you thought the numbers for Canadian drama were disheartening, climb a little higher on the dial, where the ratings for sports tell a much more ominous story...
Friday Night Baseball - Sportsnet - 247,000 Viewers
Soccer - CBC - 99,000
Nascar Dover 200 - TSN - 94,000
NBA Playoffs - TSN - 85,000
CBC's coverage of the Stanley Cup final averaged 2.5 million viewers, an 18-per-cent dip from last year.
At the February 28th NHL Trade Deadline -- when big name players change hands and teams make it clear they are either making a run for the Cup or throwing in the towel, Canada's sportscasting fraternity pulls out all the stops to chase every rumor. Election style coverage rules the day. This year Sportsnet even deployed a bevy of hot babes to deliver bulletins. The result...
TSN - 150,000
Sportsnet - 52,000
The Score - 9,000 (ouch)
And for those keeping track, these numbers were down 40% from the previous year.
Below the border, where 2.5 million fewer people were watching television overall, the picture is not much rosier. Hockey may be a poor yardstick, with NBC recording its lowest Prime Time ratings (in any category) for the Stanley Cup Final -- a final that was down 28% from the previous season. But the anecdotal Hockey evidence is worth considering...
In Tampa, NBC's affiliate canceled Game 3 for a charity telethon. And in an earlier round featuring Atlanta and the NY Rangers, Atlanta recorded only 8800 local viewers for the final game -- less than the number of season ticket holders in that city.
But numbers for other Sports in the US are down too. Basketball is off by as much as 17%. Weekend audiences hover around the million mark for Golf. NASCAR, currently the most popular sports event on network television, seldom tops 6,000,000 viewers and quite regularly matches the fan totals of Wrestling's Friday Night Smackdown.
In this environment "Studio 60" would be a runaway smash!
Yet, within one of the most targeted TV demographics (Men 18-25) the decline in viewers is even steeper.
And why exactly is this important to those of us more concerned with the nuances surrounding Tony Soprano's departure and the story lines of "Grey's Anatomy" and "House"?
Because it tells us Guys have finally come around to watching "Desperate Housewives" and "Sex And The City" re-runs?
No.
Because it indicates that the last great cornerstone of broadcasting and advertising is crumbling. The most dependable cash cow is going dry. Men are not watching sports.
Beer companies, car companies, Corporations who pitch fast food, electronics and all the other traditional guy buys are discovering that an audience once dependably parked on the couch, for whatever game somebody sweaty was playing, has left the building.
And that means a huge chunk of the $8.8 Billion paid upfront to the networks at the beginning of last season, won't be there this year, meaning fewer dramas at smaller budgets must surely follow.
I believe there are a lot of reasons men have a declining interest in professional sport. Ticket prices limiting the real game experience to fewer people. The corporatization of leagues and athletes. The endless branding and re-branding of uniforms, playing fields and stadiums.
My first sleep deprived night in Australia, I watched a Rugby game. When somebody asked who was playing, I answered "Vodaphone" and "Sony", the only names that had been visible on the players' jerseys.
But the biggest culprit are the Sports Networks themselves. Any given 24 hours of sports television usually features only one or two live events. The rest of the time is spent with endless analysis, speculation and debate combined with repeated showings of the same highlight reels and sportscasts.
At a certain point you just can't take anymore, no matter how rabid a fan you are.
Economically, Sports Networks rely on that kind of cheap programming to survive (along with tractor pulls and Poker). Because, truth be told, they lose money on the games.
The Toronto Maple Leafs recently sold some of their rights to Sportsnet for $700,000 per game. That's $200,000 more than last year, a season in which Sportsnet is said to have lost as much as $400,000 per Leaf game. Now, of course, none of these things happen in a vacuum, and the network is still making money. But with rising fees and disappearing viewers, that won't be the case much longer.
This decline in male viewership has been gradual but steady, with the prevailing wisdom being that men are more likely to be surfing the internet, watching DVDs or gaming. Not to mention that Porn is a lot more accessible than it used to be.
Since male demographics were the first to embrace TiVo and the PVR, some analysts suggest they're simply time-shifting their sports. And to some extent that may be true -- but then, the message is even more troubling. Because they're sure not pumping up the numbers on "Smith", "Drive" and other male targeted shows while they're waiting for the game to load.
And most guys only PVR a game because it affords the opportunity to skip commercials and create your own instant replays. You can't bank your favorite team's games like you can a season of "24" or "Battlestar Galactica". Well, you can, but it turns you into somebody wearing sans-a-belt pants and socks with sandals.
Spoilers for a series episode are annoying. Knowing the outcome of a game, virtually unavoidable in this day and age, makes watching even an hours-old event pointless for anyone who isn't obsessing over their Fantasy League stats.
The point is, the paucity of male viewers for non-sports programming is so accepted now that the prime-time schedule is practically awash with estrogen. New shows for the coming season include female centric series such as "Cashmere Mafia", "Lipstick Jungle" and "The Womens Murder Club". ABC, once ruled by Monday Night Football, now features "Dancing with the Stars", "Sam I Am" (about a woman recovering from a coma) and "The Bachelor" on that evening. Fox has published a mid-season slate which includes a night of "Nanny 911", "Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy" and "When Women Rule The World".
In other words, not a lot of places on National networks for most guys who aren't watching sports to go. That's not to suggest that the nets are telling men they're not wanted. We're just not even expected anymore.
Every development executive I've spoken to in the last year has been primarily interested in content that's female centric or with female leads. Although, a couple have also been seeking shows featuring Lesbians -- so maybe they haven't totally given up on getting our attention...
And maybe TV can get along fine without men. At least -- until women start leaving to find out what we're up to.
Friday Night Baseball - Sportsnet - 247,000 Viewers
Soccer - CBC - 99,000
Nascar Dover 200 - TSN - 94,000
NBA Playoffs - TSN - 85,000
CBC's coverage of the Stanley Cup final averaged 2.5 million viewers, an 18-per-cent dip from last year.
At the February 28th NHL Trade Deadline -- when big name players change hands and teams make it clear they are either making a run for the Cup or throwing in the towel, Canada's sportscasting fraternity pulls out all the stops to chase every rumor. Election style coverage rules the day. This year Sportsnet even deployed a bevy of hot babes to deliver bulletins. The result...
TSN - 150,000
Sportsnet - 52,000
The Score - 9,000 (ouch)
And for those keeping track, these numbers were down 40% from the previous year.
Below the border, where 2.5 million fewer people were watching television overall, the picture is not much rosier. Hockey may be a poor yardstick, with NBC recording its lowest Prime Time ratings (in any category) for the Stanley Cup Final -- a final that was down 28% from the previous season. But the anecdotal Hockey evidence is worth considering...
In Tampa, NBC's affiliate canceled Game 3 for a charity telethon. And in an earlier round featuring Atlanta and the NY Rangers, Atlanta recorded only 8800 local viewers for the final game -- less than the number of season ticket holders in that city.
But numbers for other Sports in the US are down too. Basketball is off by as much as 17%. Weekend audiences hover around the million mark for Golf. NASCAR, currently the most popular sports event on network television, seldom tops 6,000,000 viewers and quite regularly matches the fan totals of Wrestling's Friday Night Smackdown.
In this environment "Studio 60" would be a runaway smash!
Yet, within one of the most targeted TV demographics (Men 18-25) the decline in viewers is even steeper.
And why exactly is this important to those of us more concerned with the nuances surrounding Tony Soprano's departure and the story lines of "Grey's Anatomy" and "House"?
Because it tells us Guys have finally come around to watching "Desperate Housewives" and "Sex And The City" re-runs?
No.
Because it indicates that the last great cornerstone of broadcasting and advertising is crumbling. The most dependable cash cow is going dry. Men are not watching sports.
Beer companies, car companies, Corporations who pitch fast food, electronics and all the other traditional guy buys are discovering that an audience once dependably parked on the couch, for whatever game somebody sweaty was playing, has left the building.
And that means a huge chunk of the $8.8 Billion paid upfront to the networks at the beginning of last season, won't be there this year, meaning fewer dramas at smaller budgets must surely follow.
I believe there are a lot of reasons men have a declining interest in professional sport. Ticket prices limiting the real game experience to fewer people. The corporatization of leagues and athletes. The endless branding and re-branding of uniforms, playing fields and stadiums.
My first sleep deprived night in Australia, I watched a Rugby game. When somebody asked who was playing, I answered "Vodaphone" and "Sony", the only names that had been visible on the players' jerseys.
But the biggest culprit are the Sports Networks themselves. Any given 24 hours of sports television usually features only one or two live events. The rest of the time is spent with endless analysis, speculation and debate combined with repeated showings of the same highlight reels and sportscasts.
At a certain point you just can't take anymore, no matter how rabid a fan you are.
Economically, Sports Networks rely on that kind of cheap programming to survive (along with tractor pulls and Poker). Because, truth be told, they lose money on the games.
The Toronto Maple Leafs recently sold some of their rights to Sportsnet for $700,000 per game. That's $200,000 more than last year, a season in which Sportsnet is said to have lost as much as $400,000 per Leaf game. Now, of course, none of these things happen in a vacuum, and the network is still making money. But with rising fees and disappearing viewers, that won't be the case much longer.
This decline in male viewership has been gradual but steady, with the prevailing wisdom being that men are more likely to be surfing the internet, watching DVDs or gaming. Not to mention that Porn is a lot more accessible than it used to be.
Since male demographics were the first to embrace TiVo and the PVR, some analysts suggest they're simply time-shifting their sports. And to some extent that may be true -- but then, the message is even more troubling. Because they're sure not pumping up the numbers on "Smith", "Drive" and other male targeted shows while they're waiting for the game to load.
And most guys only PVR a game because it affords the opportunity to skip commercials and create your own instant replays. You can't bank your favorite team's games like you can a season of "24" or "Battlestar Galactica". Well, you can, but it turns you into somebody wearing sans-a-belt pants and socks with sandals.
Spoilers for a series episode are annoying. Knowing the outcome of a game, virtually unavoidable in this day and age, makes watching even an hours-old event pointless for anyone who isn't obsessing over their Fantasy League stats.
The point is, the paucity of male viewers for non-sports programming is so accepted now that the prime-time schedule is practically awash with estrogen. New shows for the coming season include female centric series such as "Cashmere Mafia", "Lipstick Jungle" and "The Womens Murder Club". ABC, once ruled by Monday Night Football, now features "Dancing with the Stars", "Sam I Am" (about a woman recovering from a coma) and "The Bachelor" on that evening. Fox has published a mid-season slate which includes a night of "Nanny 911", "Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy" and "When Women Rule The World".
In other words, not a lot of places on National networks for most guys who aren't watching sports to go. That's not to suggest that the nets are telling men they're not wanted. We're just not even expected anymore.
Every development executive I've spoken to in the last year has been primarily interested in content that's female centric or with female leads. Although, a couple have also been seeking shows featuring Lesbians -- so maybe they haven't totally given up on getting our attention...
And maybe TV can get along fine without men. At least -- until women start leaving to find out what we're up to.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US!
I was locked in an edit suite Friday afternoon and missed the whole Paris Hilton affair. But I had the misfortune of catching the news last night, so I got to see the shots of her distraught face as she was ferried back to jail.
I don't know Paris Hilton. But working in this business I've had the opportunity to meet a lot of young women like her. Over the years, they've brought one truth home to me. Whatever issues they're toting around, the rest of us are carrying something a whole lot bigger and far more ugly.
Better minds than mine will examine why we're drawn to witness their destruction, where the fascination comes from and what it says about us and our society. A female friend last night equated the mass coverage with the thousand men in Iraq who cell phone recorded the public stoning of a 17 year old girl and y'know, that doesn't seem too much of a stretch.
To some extent, I think the public can be let off the hook for most of this. The ones responsible are those of us who work in the media.
A few years ago, I worked with a not-untalented actress who was moving to LA and wanted to find an agent. I gave her a list of people I thought could help her. She called a month or so later, now settled in Hollywood but not sounding too happy. An agent on my list had agreed to sign her -- but only if she gave him a blowjob first.
That agent may be discovering, on reading this, why I stopped taking his calls or hiring his clients. He and his stable were (and are) also not untalented. But life's too short to co-sign his kind of bullshit.
Actresses have always been used and abused by men in positions of power. In some ways, it kind of goes with the territory. I hope that doesn't sound too callous. What I mean is -- don't get overly teary-eyed. There are not a lot of "Damsels in Distress" here. These are big girls capable of drawing their own lines in the sand.
At least they were when it was only about power and sex.
But the paparazzi and the "all-news" networks and the celebrity sniffers of "Access Hollywood", TMZ.com and "E!Talk" have changed the landscape. The meltdowns of Lindsay Lohan and Brittney Spears under their relentless pummeling shouldn't surprise anyone.
No matter her crimes, even Paris Hilton does not deserve this soul-shredding.
This week, Ken Levine's excellent blog alerted me to the debut of Paris' new season of "The Simple Life" with this review. I honestly thought Ken was off on one of his inspired extrapolations of the facts. But he wasn't.
The Pilot for the new season does indeed feature Paris and her sidekick Nicole Ritchie giving enemas to people at Fat Camp and assisting with their resulting bowel movements. If you're so inclined the footage is right here and you've been suitably warned.
A new low for television? Just flat off the chart tasteless? Sure. But get used to it, because those nice people at CanWest/Global will be simulcasting this and much more like it on their newly branded "E! Canada" channel.
When I watched the show, a small piece of my heart broke for Paris Hilton. I got a brief insight into what she's going through. And I have to tell you, if my only option was doing a show like this, I'd be drinking and driving too. As well as praying the first person I hit was the network executive who green-lit it to begin with.
I'm certain the new Canadian E! Channel will also provide the ongoing career/personal suicide watches of Paris and all their other "Reality"/Brat Pack/Hollywood faves. As one of my spiritual touchstones once cautioned -- "The darkest hearts cover themselves in the whitest robes" and it seems CanWest has learned well from CTV's "Etalk Daily" example.
You really can get away with almost any level of sleaze as long as you cover it with the smiling face of a Prime Minister's son and a hot Asian chic. I'm not sure Izzy Asper intended that his sons become pimps, but that seems to be where they're headed.
In closing, I have to say that I've never really believed anybody in this business gives the public what it wants. I think we often offer what we know they can be fed, or what they'll swallow. Like McDonald's, they know this stuff has little nutritional value, but it's quick and it's filling, doesn't cost much, sometimes comes with a toy, and lets them get on to something else right away -- so what the hell...
But we're the guys making it, and we know how it's made, what it really costs and perhaps, most important, what's left over when we're done.
This final clip is a monologue by Craig Ferguson. It's a few months old and has been posted in many places before. It's about what's wrong with us -- all of us -- but the media in particular.
Please take the words to heart. Paris Hilton's fate depends on it.
I don't know Paris Hilton. But working in this business I've had the opportunity to meet a lot of young women like her. Over the years, they've brought one truth home to me. Whatever issues they're toting around, the rest of us are carrying something a whole lot bigger and far more ugly.
Better minds than mine will examine why we're drawn to witness their destruction, where the fascination comes from and what it says about us and our society. A female friend last night equated the mass coverage with the thousand men in Iraq who cell phone recorded the public stoning of a 17 year old girl and y'know, that doesn't seem too much of a stretch.
To some extent, I think the public can be let off the hook for most of this. The ones responsible are those of us who work in the media.
A few years ago, I worked with a not-untalented actress who was moving to LA and wanted to find an agent. I gave her a list of people I thought could help her. She called a month or so later, now settled in Hollywood but not sounding too happy. An agent on my list had agreed to sign her -- but only if she gave him a blowjob first.
That agent may be discovering, on reading this, why I stopped taking his calls or hiring his clients. He and his stable were (and are) also not untalented. But life's too short to co-sign his kind of bullshit.
Actresses have always been used and abused by men in positions of power. In some ways, it kind of goes with the territory. I hope that doesn't sound too callous. What I mean is -- don't get overly teary-eyed. There are not a lot of "Damsels in Distress" here. These are big girls capable of drawing their own lines in the sand.
At least they were when it was only about power and sex.
But the paparazzi and the "all-news" networks and the celebrity sniffers of "Access Hollywood", TMZ.com and "E!Talk" have changed the landscape. The meltdowns of Lindsay Lohan and Brittney Spears under their relentless pummeling shouldn't surprise anyone.
No matter her crimes, even Paris Hilton does not deserve this soul-shredding.
This week, Ken Levine's excellent blog alerted me to the debut of Paris' new season of "The Simple Life" with this review. I honestly thought Ken was off on one of his inspired extrapolations of the facts. But he wasn't.
The Pilot for the new season does indeed feature Paris and her sidekick Nicole Ritchie giving enemas to people at Fat Camp and assisting with their resulting bowel movements. If you're so inclined the footage is right here and you've been suitably warned.
A new low for television? Just flat off the chart tasteless? Sure. But get used to it, because those nice people at CanWest/Global will be simulcasting this and much more like it on their newly branded "E! Canada" channel.
When I watched the show, a small piece of my heart broke for Paris Hilton. I got a brief insight into what she's going through. And I have to tell you, if my only option was doing a show like this, I'd be drinking and driving too. As well as praying the first person I hit was the network executive who green-lit it to begin with.
I'm certain the new Canadian E! Channel will also provide the ongoing career/personal suicide watches of Paris and all their other "Reality"/Brat Pack/Hollywood faves. As one of my spiritual touchstones once cautioned -- "The darkest hearts cover themselves in the whitest robes" and it seems CanWest has learned well from CTV's "Etalk Daily" example.
You really can get away with almost any level of sleaze as long as you cover it with the smiling face of a Prime Minister's son and a hot Asian chic. I'm not sure Izzy Asper intended that his sons become pimps, but that seems to be where they're headed.
In closing, I have to say that I've never really believed anybody in this business gives the public what it wants. I think we often offer what we know they can be fed, or what they'll swallow. Like McDonald's, they know this stuff has little nutritional value, but it's quick and it's filling, doesn't cost much, sometimes comes with a toy, and lets them get on to something else right away -- so what the hell...
But we're the guys making it, and we know how it's made, what it really costs and perhaps, most important, what's left over when we're done.
This final clip is a monologue by Craig Ferguson. It's a few months old and has been posted in many places before. It's about what's wrong with us -- all of us -- but the media in particular.
Please take the words to heart. Paris Hilton's fate depends on it.
Friday, June 08, 2007
RATINGS PT. 2: THE DENTIST
I've had the same dentist for more than 30 years. We met when he was covering for my original guy, who was on vacation. I liked him right from the start. He's Chinese and at the time spoke very little English. His attractive assistant (now his wife) translated -- "He say, rinse and spit!".
Since he was good at what he does and fit my life philosophy of not having any ordinary experiences unless absolutely necessary, he became my dentist.
He was always interested in what I was doing, but never recognized the titles of any of my shows -- he'd just smile and shrug. Sometimes I'd give him videos or DVDs of my output. When I asked if he'd liked them, he'd just give me the same smile and shrug.
Four or five years ago, he opened a new office in an ethnically mixed part of Toronto with his son, Dentist Jr. And it's actually that building which drives one of the theories I have about Canadian television ratings.
The lobby features a video store that isn't of the Blockbuster/Rogers world. I don't know its name although it's posted in several languages; none of them English, with the closest script being Cyrillic. Although I'm a big fan of Japanese, Chinese, Bollywood and Eastern European films, until a couple of years ago, I'd never been inside. I still need subtitles and there was nothing that indicated their offerings provided that consideration.
Then, on the night before a dental appointment, I saw a "60 Minutes" piece on Aishwarya Rai, a Bollywood star considered by many to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
I'd seen posters for her films in the window of my Dentist's video store. Now I knew her name. So the next day, I went in and asked if I could rent a copy of the film "60 Minutes" had profiled.
The young woman behind the counter explained that they didn't rent films, but I could buy a copy for $3.00.
Sounded like a good deal. I was in. Then she asked me to come back in a couple of hours because she had to burn the disk...
Okay -- not quite down with that. She seemed to sense my discomfort and assured me they weren't pirates. In order to get the new releases her customers wanted, feeding a desire to view what was currently onscreen back home, the studio in India airmailed a disk they could copy for customers.
Not knowing if she was making that up but knowing even less about South Asian copyright law, I handed over three bucks and returned a couple of hours later with newly de-scaled choppers to pick up a shiny disk additionally light-scribed with the artwork of the film.
The movie was pretty good, had that wonderful Bollywood combo of Hindi and English so you can follow what's going on even without subtitles and played perfectly. I'd driven home with sudden reservations about PAL and region codes. But there were no problems and I recalled something I'd learned in Australia, that DVD regional codes are a nice conceit for North Americans and Europeans, but most of the rest of the world just buys players with built in hacks or publishes all-region content.
How all this relates to Canadian television ratings is this...
I visit this store quite regularly now, buying current films from Bollywood, HK, China, Japan, Russia and the occasional point in between. Most of those films are still in theatres in their home countries and will never be released here.
That allowed me to see the magnificent Chinese film "Hero" a full two years before it debuted here to critical acclaim -- and a sudden studio/network awareness of color design. I've been similarly exposed to writing and shooting techniques, visual concepts and edit styles nobody in Canadian television is even thinking about, let alone putting in their programming.
Just an aside, but wait til you guys attending Banff get a peek at the new Brit series "Green Wing". You're going to realize that understanding the abilities of an editing program like Final Cut Pro is becoming just as important to your writing as whatever script software you currently use.
While I was in Australia, I also learned that much of the world is so far ahead of us in things like cellular phones, computer accessories, etc. that it's scary.
Last week, my Gaffer turned up on set with a new GPS clipped to his visor. It looked like an ordinary GPS, except it was also an HD video player with a 5 inch screen, an MP3 player and arrived from China with an 80 Gig flash card. You heard me -- 80 Gb - enough for about that many movies in HD. Price delivered -- $200.
So point one is, we're falling behind. Okay, the Fraser Institute can bore you with that insight.
Point number two is what's important -- we're falling behind our audience.
Exposure to the material from my Dentist's building's video store means I can't watch much Canadian TV drama anymore. It's just too fricken uninspired and boring. Perhaps not in concept or inspiration, but almost certainly in execution.
We have countless new or debuting shows which look and feel exactly like material we made back in the 1980's. So, if I can't get excited enough to watch this stuff, how attractive is it to people who are coming to it fresh?
Our immigrant population is huge and while I may buy one or two DVD's from this video store, I see people leaving with shopping bags full. The owner tells me it's not unusual for a South Asian family, for example, to buy 30 - 40 hours of movies, comedies and soaps every week.
Trust me, those families are not watching CTV, Global or even CITY-TV. There simply aren't that many hours in the week. If you take a look around at the satellite dishes on your average urban Canadian street, they're not all pointed in the same direction as the ones that read "Expressvu".
And it's obvious that CRTC rules about diversity are not changing these viewing habits. Those rules are giving a lot of talented people the opportunity to work. And while they may be presenting a more realistic vision of our society to the world, they are quite simply not drawing more viewers to the programs, or markedly increasing foreign sales.
Even among 2nd and 3rd generation communities, there is no desire or incentive to watch Canadian channels. Walk into any ethnic eatery, tavern or "social club" on a Saturday and there's either a live sports event from their homeland running or some kind of non-Canadian game/variety show that has everybody present in stitches.
I'm constantly struck by the fact that there is a vibrancy to these programs we neither have nor seem interested in finding.
To realize how much of a rut we've fallen into, you only had to watch NBC's coverage of the Stanley Cup. It was quite simply -- awesome -- superior on every level to the competing network that has been doing hockey for generations. The game had an immediacy, a passion and muscle to it that made it just so much damn fun to watch.
Over at the CBC, we had announcers who are household names unable to remember the names of half the players, an ill-tempered clown in a loud suit weeping over our Afghan fallen in perhaps the most inappropriate setting for such sentiments, and the standard shoulder shot interviews between periods with players draped in a logo'd towels offering sports cliches I'm convinced must be fading on their cue cards by now.
To attract audiences, we've got to start doing things different. The concept that the average Canadian wants shows that poke polite fun at politicians, deal with "issues" without getting too in-your-face about it and depend on Peter Mansbridge clones for their news, are woefully out of date.
Likewise, I must ask what audience attraction is achieved by producing TV MOW's such as a fictionalized version of the "true" story of the deaths of four RCMP officers because the actual facts have yet to be determined, or by displacing the Montreal incident in which an American kids hockey team was insulted to a more bucolic setting in New Brunswick?
You're either doing TRUE stories or you're not and equivocation to avoid offending anyone or any group doesn't have a lot to do with making a film that gets at the truths an audience wants to know or understand -- and watch.
That said, much of our network production has veered from anything that can be described as innovative fiction. A couple of years ago, I discovered a truly whacked Russian film entitled "Nightwatch". The sequel, "Daywatch" is currently in theatres. Can you imagine any Canadian network initiating anything with this kind of visual style?
The current Canadian approach to programming can barely scare up a million viewers on a good day. Even the Stanley Cup Final can't attract 10% of the population. Our maximum total audience for our hundreds of channels this season never rose above a quarter of the country.
Is nobody wondering what the other 75% are watching -- instead?
Since he was good at what he does and fit my life philosophy of not having any ordinary experiences unless absolutely necessary, he became my dentist.
He was always interested in what I was doing, but never recognized the titles of any of my shows -- he'd just smile and shrug. Sometimes I'd give him videos or DVDs of my output. When I asked if he'd liked them, he'd just give me the same smile and shrug.
Four or five years ago, he opened a new office in an ethnically mixed part of Toronto with his son, Dentist Jr. And it's actually that building which drives one of the theories I have about Canadian television ratings.
The lobby features a video store that isn't of the Blockbuster/Rogers world. I don't know its name although it's posted in several languages; none of them English, with the closest script being Cyrillic. Although I'm a big fan of Japanese, Chinese, Bollywood and Eastern European films, until a couple of years ago, I'd never been inside. I still need subtitles and there was nothing that indicated their offerings provided that consideration.
Then, on the night before a dental appointment, I saw a "60 Minutes" piece on Aishwarya Rai, a Bollywood star considered by many to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
I'd seen posters for her films in the window of my Dentist's video store. Now I knew her name. So the next day, I went in and asked if I could rent a copy of the film "60 Minutes" had profiled.
The young woman behind the counter explained that they didn't rent films, but I could buy a copy for $3.00.
Sounded like a good deal. I was in. Then she asked me to come back in a couple of hours because she had to burn the disk...
Okay -- not quite down with that. She seemed to sense my discomfort and assured me they weren't pirates. In order to get the new releases her customers wanted, feeding a desire to view what was currently onscreen back home, the studio in India airmailed a disk they could copy for customers.
Not knowing if she was making that up but knowing even less about South Asian copyright law, I handed over three bucks and returned a couple of hours later with newly de-scaled choppers to pick up a shiny disk additionally light-scribed with the artwork of the film.
The movie was pretty good, had that wonderful Bollywood combo of Hindi and English so you can follow what's going on even without subtitles and played perfectly. I'd driven home with sudden reservations about PAL and region codes. But there were no problems and I recalled something I'd learned in Australia, that DVD regional codes are a nice conceit for North Americans and Europeans, but most of the rest of the world just buys players with built in hacks or publishes all-region content.
How all this relates to Canadian television ratings is this...
I visit this store quite regularly now, buying current films from Bollywood, HK, China, Japan, Russia and the occasional point in between. Most of those films are still in theatres in their home countries and will never be released here.
That allowed me to see the magnificent Chinese film "Hero" a full two years before it debuted here to critical acclaim -- and a sudden studio/network awareness of color design. I've been similarly exposed to writing and shooting techniques, visual concepts and edit styles nobody in Canadian television is even thinking about, let alone putting in their programming.
Just an aside, but wait til you guys attending Banff get a peek at the new Brit series "Green Wing". You're going to realize that understanding the abilities of an editing program like Final Cut Pro is becoming just as important to your writing as whatever script software you currently use.
While I was in Australia, I also learned that much of the world is so far ahead of us in things like cellular phones, computer accessories, etc. that it's scary.
Last week, my Gaffer turned up on set with a new GPS clipped to his visor. It looked like an ordinary GPS, except it was also an HD video player with a 5 inch screen, an MP3 player and arrived from China with an 80 Gig flash card. You heard me -- 80 Gb - enough for about that many movies in HD. Price delivered -- $200.
So point one is, we're falling behind. Okay, the Fraser Institute can bore you with that insight.
Point number two is what's important -- we're falling behind our audience.
Exposure to the material from my Dentist's building's video store means I can't watch much Canadian TV drama anymore. It's just too fricken uninspired and boring. Perhaps not in concept or inspiration, but almost certainly in execution.
We have countless new or debuting shows which look and feel exactly like material we made back in the 1980's. So, if I can't get excited enough to watch this stuff, how attractive is it to people who are coming to it fresh?
Our immigrant population is huge and while I may buy one or two DVD's from this video store, I see people leaving with shopping bags full. The owner tells me it's not unusual for a South Asian family, for example, to buy 30 - 40 hours of movies, comedies and soaps every week.
Trust me, those families are not watching CTV, Global or even CITY-TV. There simply aren't that many hours in the week. If you take a look around at the satellite dishes on your average urban Canadian street, they're not all pointed in the same direction as the ones that read "Expressvu".
And it's obvious that CRTC rules about diversity are not changing these viewing habits. Those rules are giving a lot of talented people the opportunity to work. And while they may be presenting a more realistic vision of our society to the world, they are quite simply not drawing more viewers to the programs, or markedly increasing foreign sales.
Even among 2nd and 3rd generation communities, there is no desire or incentive to watch Canadian channels. Walk into any ethnic eatery, tavern or "social club" on a Saturday and there's either a live sports event from their homeland running or some kind of non-Canadian game/variety show that has everybody present in stitches.
I'm constantly struck by the fact that there is a vibrancy to these programs we neither have nor seem interested in finding.
To realize how much of a rut we've fallen into, you only had to watch NBC's coverage of the Stanley Cup. It was quite simply -- awesome -- superior on every level to the competing network that has been doing hockey for generations. The game had an immediacy, a passion and muscle to it that made it just so much damn fun to watch.
Over at the CBC, we had announcers who are household names unable to remember the names of half the players, an ill-tempered clown in a loud suit weeping over our Afghan fallen in perhaps the most inappropriate setting for such sentiments, and the standard shoulder shot interviews between periods with players draped in a logo'd towels offering sports cliches I'm convinced must be fading on their cue cards by now.
To attract audiences, we've got to start doing things different. The concept that the average Canadian wants shows that poke polite fun at politicians, deal with "issues" without getting too in-your-face about it and depend on Peter Mansbridge clones for their news, are woefully out of date.
Likewise, I must ask what audience attraction is achieved by producing TV MOW's such as a fictionalized version of the "true" story of the deaths of four RCMP officers because the actual facts have yet to be determined, or by displacing the Montreal incident in which an American kids hockey team was insulted to a more bucolic setting in New Brunswick?
You're either doing TRUE stories or you're not and equivocation to avoid offending anyone or any group doesn't have a lot to do with making a film that gets at the truths an audience wants to know or understand -- and watch.
That said, much of our network production has veered from anything that can be described as innovative fiction. A couple of years ago, I discovered a truly whacked Russian film entitled "Nightwatch". The sequel, "Daywatch" is currently in theatres. Can you imagine any Canadian network initiating anything with this kind of visual style?
The current Canadian approach to programming can barely scare up a million viewers on a good day. Even the Stanley Cup Final can't attract 10% of the population. Our maximum total audience for our hundreds of channels this season never rose above a quarter of the country.
Is nobody wondering what the other 75% are watching -- instead?
Thursday, June 07, 2007
ASKWITH WINS THE INFAMOUS WRITERS POOL
Oh, there is no joy in Ottawa this morning -- but then, that's normal isn't it? As one Toronto Maple Leafs Fan said last night, "One thing you gotta give the Senators, it takes them longer every season to choke."
And no matter how you cut it, choke they did. Stars like Jason Spezza and Dany Heatley simply disappeared in the last round and even Captain Crusty the Clown became so oxygen deprived he couldn't tell the difference between the hallowed chalice he was chasing and Scott Neidermeyer's Cup.
I also can't describe the thrill I felt watching the CBC sign off, as player after player in a Duck's jersey saluted hometowns in Regina, Cranbrook, Almonte and Kanata, disproving the media fabrication that Ottawa was "Canada's Team". Perhaps it'll wake somebody at the Corporation or the CRTC up to the fact that just because something doesn't appear Canadian on the surface, that doesn't mean it isn't -- (and vice versa).
But there is, however, great joy this morning in the heart and home of Mark Askwith, winner of the inaugural "Infamous Writers Pool".
Almost from day one, an upstart Mad Pulp Bastard, from the state where Sport's most revered trophy now resides, had led the pool; trashing the National pride and hockey egos of some of Canada's finest hockey minds.
Bill Cunningham cast us all in the role of perennial Bridesmaids as he made his triumphant march up the aisle. But at the last moment (literally) Mr. Askwith came through to snatch the bouquet and restore our country to its rightful position of knowing more about hockey than anybody else anywhere anytime.
Yes, Mark Killed Bill somewhere in the dying moments of last night's second period.
But I must give Mr. Cunningham extra points for "Class". During the game, he, Mr. Dixon and Yours Truly were in semi-constant wireless contact. (Like the white gloved Guardians of the Cup, Will and I have been constantly at the ready to present the Pool mantle.)
And with seconds to go in the game, Mr. Cunningham was already taking the skate down Handshake Alley and communicating his congratulations to Mr. Askwith.
Cunningham, I knew Chris Chelios, I've skated with Chris Chelios and I watched him play in the Olympics -- and you, sir, are no Chris Chelios!
(Don't bother looking up what that means, Bill, it's a compliment)
Over the next couple of days, I'll be in touch with all Poolies to deliver the address where you can send Mark's victory swag. If I haven't gotten to you by Saturday, send me a nasty comment under the name of Geoffrey...
Here are the final standings. Thanks to everybody for making this so much fun. And -- Just wait til next year!!!
1 Mark Askwith 155
2 Bill Cunningham 151
3 Michael Foster 136
4 Dave Moses 135
5 Juniper 132
6 Denis McGrath 128
7 Micah Reid 115
8 Will Dixon 111
9 Larry Raskin 109
10 John Whaley 106
11 Jim Henshaw 103
12 Mark Farrell 89
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
The Meeting Keeps Getting Pushed
But not pushed enough so you can realistically start something else. So you surf. And you find something to while a few minutes. And the meeting gets pushed another hour. So you look around some more. And they push it again...
Here's what I found...
THE NEW FIREFOX LOGO
FREE PARIS HILTON
A TRULY MOVING MESSAGE ON CRAIGSLIST
Link.
FAN STUFF
Maybe it's just me -- but do you ever get the feeling that there's far more happening on the web than anybody in Canadian TV is going to ask you to create for them?
Pushed again. Maybe they're trying to increase my anticipation....
Here's what I found...
THE NEW FIREFOX LOGO
FREE PARIS HILTON
A TRULY MOVING MESSAGE ON CRAIGSLIST
Link.
FAN STUFF
Maybe it's just me -- but do you ever get the feeling that there's far more happening on the web than anybody in Canadian TV is going to ask you to create for them?
Pushed again. Maybe they're trying to increase my anticipation....
Monday, June 04, 2007
RATINGS PT.1 - CBC SPINS THE NUMBERS
One of the best and most dependable resources on the American television scene is The Futon Critic, a site which regularly posts not only overnight ratings, but press releases from each network as they "spin the numbers" to calm panicked advertisers and assuage corporate egos.
In network speak, you're only in fourth place until numbers are spun to make the outcome far better than it first appears. "We only had 100,000 viewers but they all bought a Lexus during the last commercial break so our sponsor is EC-STATIC!!!"
In American television, success is relative. In Canadian television, it's apparently only our relatives who are still watching...
This is the first of three posts on who's not watching Canadian television and my opinion(s) as to why that's happening. I don't know the final solutions. But I do know that finding them means changing the way we think about the industry.
This week, CBC launched their Fall Season with Kirstin Layfield, Executive Director of Programming, stating that the network had its best prime-time ratings in five years.
I caught that "Good News" nugget while driving and it struck me as odd. Time was CBC had shows that attracted 2-3 Million viewers on a regular basis. "Beachcombers", "Avonlea", "The National" and "Hockey Night in Canada" to name a few.
Given audience fragmentation, those numbers don't exist much anymore. But now the CBC only has a couple of half hours that regularly break a million -- "Little Mosque" and "Mercer"; and the sports talk show the CBC news item interrupted had been bemoaning the lowest ratings in years for the NHL Playoffs.
So, if CBC's numbers were the best in five years, I couldn't imagine how bad it was over there at the lowest ebb.
Well, according to Barry Kiefl, president of Canadian Media Research Inc., the season was actually the WORST in the public broadcaster's 55-year history.
Kiefl, director of research at CBC from 1983 to 2001, (I cannot imagine how exciting that job must've been) says CBC audience share in prime time is 7.5 per cent from October through March - down slightly from the previous year's 7.6 per cent.
And according to Kiefl the CBC prime-time schedule only hung in like it did because the network aired more hockey than ever before. Indeed, literally 48 per cent of the CBC prime-time audience was generated with sports.
No other network comes anywhere close to that in North America.
Which would clearly indicate that the audience for their other programming had not grown -- at all...
Hmmmm...
Okay, so CBC spins the numbers like everybody else. Is that really a big deal?
I tend to think so. Because "everybody else" finances what they do privately, not through an annual Billion dollar cheque from the Canadian Taxpayer.
And if fewer of those taxpayers have an interest in watching what their tax dollars are buying, that would seem to indicate a shift in programming be seriously considered -- or that said tax money be spent elsewhere.
And before you get all "The CBC's our Cultural Lifeline" on me. Think about a world without the CBC but that $1 Billion still being spent on Canadian programming.
Certainly not something anybody working at or for the CBC want to see happen.
But the 2007 CBC season that's just been announced doesn't appear any different from the one which preceded it. If they weren't getting a bigger audience -- why do the same thing?
Globe & Mail columnist John Doyle, recently spoke to the Writers Guild of Canada's National Forum on the subject of one hour drama, stating that viewers are hungry for that type of television and his read of G&M readers was that they want compelling, provocative, adult drama that "they can attach themselves to."
Just an aside, but I really appreciate big-time newspaper columnists who speak like real people and end the occasional sentence with a preposition....
Anyway, Mr. Doyle went on to say that the lack of Canadian drama has less to do with the audience than the Broadcasters, who don't want to pay for it and are reluctant to acknowledge how sophisticated their audience really is.
Hmmm...number two...
So this would seem to indicate CBC's number spinning is an attempt to justify a concerted effort NOT to give the audience what they want, but rather what the CBC's executives would either prefer to produce -- or -- only know how to produce.
Drama's hard. Not as hard as Comedy but close. And to be fair, CBC is promising up to seven new ones in January.
But there is only one on its Fall schedule, "Heartland". I have no idea of the show's quality and I'm not certain if it will still have that name when it debuts in October, since TNT launches a series entitled "Heartland" next week which stars Treat Williams and may have already been picked up by another Canadian broadcaster.
The other announced dramas are "The Tudors" and "Torchwood", two Euro-productions the CBC invested some money in and "St. Urbain's Horsemen", a mini-series.
That's the menu, a not-at-all-Canadian Period Drama, a not-at-all-Canadian Dr. Who spinoff and a Canadian literary classic that'll play over two evenings.
Good thing there's still hockey.
The rest of the schedule is made up of returning sketch comedy, more episodes of "Little Mosque" and a lot more of the "Greatest Canadian (insert concept here)" style of reality programming. It's all programming which seems to garner numbers the corporation finds acceptable, but clearly isn't connecting with Canadians in significant numbers.
Much as I hope "Triple Sensation" lives up to its hype of finding the next great Musical star, it seems pointless when CBC doesn't appear to be interested in finding a venue to exploit that talent on its schedule and canceled the only program it still had which programmed legit musical theatre.
Given that the Canadian TV dial is loaded with options for accessing reality programming, foreign niche programming and lifestyle shows, it feels like the CBC would be best serving the audience they are mandated to serve by giving them one hour dramas that acknowledge their sophisticated tastes.
At the very least, it would set them apart from the local competition and better positioned to justify that annual government cheque by not looking (and programming) exactly like the guys who are doing it without direct Taxpayer support.
Mr. Kiefl seems to share that opinion.
"I would think CBC would want to be very careful - while the standing committee on Canadian heritage continues its review of CBC/Radio-Canada's mandate - to be as open and accountable as possible. CBC has acknowledged many times the shortage of funding it faces. If they ever wanted to plead a case for more money, they should do it when there are serious weaknesses that need to be fixed in its schedule."
Repeat after me, CBC: "Without the audience, there ain't no show"
I don't expect you to know those lyrics -- after all they're by a Canadian band.
In network speak, you're only in fourth place until numbers are spun to make the outcome far better than it first appears. "We only had 100,000 viewers but they all bought a Lexus during the last commercial break so our sponsor is EC-STATIC!!!"
In American television, success is relative. In Canadian television, it's apparently only our relatives who are still watching...
This is the first of three posts on who's not watching Canadian television and my opinion(s) as to why that's happening. I don't know the final solutions. But I do know that finding them means changing the way we think about the industry.
This week, CBC launched their Fall Season with Kirstin Layfield, Executive Director of Programming, stating that the network had its best prime-time ratings in five years.
I caught that "Good News" nugget while driving and it struck me as odd. Time was CBC had shows that attracted 2-3 Million viewers on a regular basis. "Beachcombers", "Avonlea", "The National" and "Hockey Night in Canada" to name a few.
Given audience fragmentation, those numbers don't exist much anymore. But now the CBC only has a couple of half hours that regularly break a million -- "Little Mosque" and "Mercer"; and the sports talk show the CBC news item interrupted had been bemoaning the lowest ratings in years for the NHL Playoffs.
So, if CBC's numbers were the best in five years, I couldn't imagine how bad it was over there at the lowest ebb.
Well, according to Barry Kiefl, president of Canadian Media Research Inc., the season was actually the WORST in the public broadcaster's 55-year history.
Kiefl, director of research at CBC from 1983 to 2001, (I cannot imagine how exciting that job must've been) says CBC audience share in prime time is 7.5 per cent from October through March - down slightly from the previous year's 7.6 per cent.
And according to Kiefl the CBC prime-time schedule only hung in like it did because the network aired more hockey than ever before. Indeed, literally 48 per cent of the CBC prime-time audience was generated with sports.
No other network comes anywhere close to that in North America.
Which would clearly indicate that the audience for their other programming had not grown -- at all...
Hmmmm...
Okay, so CBC spins the numbers like everybody else. Is that really a big deal?
I tend to think so. Because "everybody else" finances what they do privately, not through an annual Billion dollar cheque from the Canadian Taxpayer.
And if fewer of those taxpayers have an interest in watching what their tax dollars are buying, that would seem to indicate a shift in programming be seriously considered -- or that said tax money be spent elsewhere.
And before you get all "The CBC's our Cultural Lifeline" on me. Think about a world without the CBC but that $1 Billion still being spent on Canadian programming.
Certainly not something anybody working at or for the CBC want to see happen.
But the 2007 CBC season that's just been announced doesn't appear any different from the one which preceded it. If they weren't getting a bigger audience -- why do the same thing?
Globe & Mail columnist John Doyle, recently spoke to the Writers Guild of Canada's National Forum on the subject of one hour drama, stating that viewers are hungry for that type of television and his read of G&M readers was that they want compelling, provocative, adult drama that "they can attach themselves to."
Just an aside, but I really appreciate big-time newspaper columnists who speak like real people and end the occasional sentence with a preposition....
Anyway, Mr. Doyle went on to say that the lack of Canadian drama has less to do with the audience than the Broadcasters, who don't want to pay for it and are reluctant to acknowledge how sophisticated their audience really is.
Hmmm...number two...
So this would seem to indicate CBC's number spinning is an attempt to justify a concerted effort NOT to give the audience what they want, but rather what the CBC's executives would either prefer to produce -- or -- only know how to produce.
Drama's hard. Not as hard as Comedy but close. And to be fair, CBC is promising up to seven new ones in January.
But there is only one on its Fall schedule, "Heartland". I have no idea of the show's quality and I'm not certain if it will still have that name when it debuts in October, since TNT launches a series entitled "Heartland" next week which stars Treat Williams and may have already been picked up by another Canadian broadcaster.
The other announced dramas are "The Tudors" and "Torchwood", two Euro-productions the CBC invested some money in and "St. Urbain's Horsemen", a mini-series.
That's the menu, a not-at-all-Canadian Period Drama, a not-at-all-Canadian Dr. Who spinoff and a Canadian literary classic that'll play over two evenings.
Good thing there's still hockey.
The rest of the schedule is made up of returning sketch comedy, more episodes of "Little Mosque" and a lot more of the "Greatest Canadian (insert concept here)" style of reality programming. It's all programming which seems to garner numbers the corporation finds acceptable, but clearly isn't connecting with Canadians in significant numbers.
Much as I hope "Triple Sensation" lives up to its hype of finding the next great Musical star, it seems pointless when CBC doesn't appear to be interested in finding a venue to exploit that talent on its schedule and canceled the only program it still had which programmed legit musical theatre.
Given that the Canadian TV dial is loaded with options for accessing reality programming, foreign niche programming and lifestyle shows, it feels like the CBC would be best serving the audience they are mandated to serve by giving them one hour dramas that acknowledge their sophisticated tastes.
At the very least, it would set them apart from the local competition and better positioned to justify that annual government cheque by not looking (and programming) exactly like the guys who are doing it without direct Taxpayer support.
Mr. Kiefl seems to share that opinion.
"I would think CBC would want to be very careful - while the standing committee on Canadian heritage continues its review of CBC/Radio-Canada's mandate - to be as open and accountable as possible. CBC has acknowledged many times the shortage of funding it faces. If they ever wanted to plead a case for more money, they should do it when there are serious weaknesses that need to be fixed in its schedule."
Repeat after me, CBC: "Without the audience, there ain't no show"
I don't expect you to know those lyrics -- after all they're by a Canadian band.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
150 CLICKS
We currently have a series in development with a Canadian network. All you need to know for the purposes of this little rant is that it takes place in a modern urban setting. On my way out of the last meeting we had on the show, one of the Execs asked how I felt about putting the production "outside Toronto".
Not a big deal. Where were they thinking -- Montreal, Vancouver...?
"No. We want you here. But there are some new rules. So it has to be at 150 Kilometers from Toronto."
"Orillia?"
They weren't amused.
I actually wasn't either -- but for different reasons. You see, our various government funding agencies have moved from their historically benign dislike of Canadian artists to actively trying to kill us.
And unfortunately, I mean that literally.
Yes. Those apparently nice, Latte sipping administrative types who explain the nuances of government regulations and make sure all the boxes are ticked on our application forms have turned homicidal.
No film or television project is ever realized without its producers jumping through a lot of hoops, keeping multiple plates spinning simultaneously and juggling any number of elements. To this three ring circus act, the Canadian government, in their infinite lack of wisdom, has added the obstacle course of regional production.
Now, don't get me wrong. If you want to live and work in Edmonton in February, good for you. You have just as much right as anybody else to live and work where they want.
But apparently you don't have that right if you live in Toronto, Montreal or Vancouver, where the film and television business has become more or less "established".
If you think about any film industry in any other nation, it tends to center in two or three places, for all kinds of logical business reasons.
Not here.
The concept of Regionalizing production may satisfy politicians who want to see their constituents tax dollars spent locally. But you can't build a viable film industry that way. In fact, it's a sure-fire recipe for making sure it never happens.
Imagine asking most of the production companies in Hollywood to relocate to Pismo Beach if they want their project green-lit. Consider what Woody Allen or Spike Lee's films would look like if they had to be shot in Newark. Take your life in your hands and tell Robert Rodriguez he's giving up Austin for Padre Island.
And maybe give some thought to the "suppliers" of the industry. The people who have no say in what gets conceived or made. They rent cameras, build props and costumes, or sustain state of the art post houses. Now imagine how their profit margins (which have always been thin) are impacted by having to serve customers who have no choice but to work in areas where such operations are not resident because they couldn't survive and everything has to be shipped in.
This week a Producer friend said, "They're spreading things so thin, nobody can survive anymore." She's right. And as far as I'm concerned that's the plan. The juicy side effect is that the Bureaucats also get to murder some of us in the process.
Yes, I said "murder" and I'm not trying to be sensationalist.
To keep producers awake amid all their hoop jumping, plate spinning and ball juggling, the bureacrats who use our industry to practise social engineering constantly change the rules whereby you can achieve and receive the tax credits, certifications and incentives you need in Canada to produce.
So, one year there will be gains to be had for using previously unproduced writers or directors, including diversity in your casting or shooting in a gravel pit in Winnipeg. A year later, the new writers are out of luck because we now must use writers of diversity. Actors of Asian or African descent are back waiting tables because there are now extra points for casting Aboriginals and the gravel pit has migrated to a spot just outside Moncton.
Before anybody dubs me the David Duke of Canada, I'll point out I was born on a reservation, have been honored by the NAACP for a series episode I did on Racism and probably hold the Canadian record for the number of artists from minority cultures, non-traditional sexual orientation or physical disability I've broken into the business.
And that doesn't make me special. It merely places me on a par with most of the Canadian producers I know. We make our hiring judgements primarily on talent.
However, if there's one thing I've noted about Canadian film and television, it's that while there's a lot of diversity among the people who make it -- the faces in the government agencies and network offices we deal with remain predominantly of one hue.
All this is to say -- surely the people who make policy for CAVCO, the CRTC, CTF and Telefilm can't be suggesting that without their strict government regulations and cash incentives, those who own our networks, highly respectable corporations like BCE, BellGlobeMedia, CanWest, Rogers, Quebecor and our own federal government through the state owned CBC and Radio-Canada would not AUTOMATICALLY make sure the airwaves reflected the cultural and regional diversity of the country!
That would simply be standard practice because they're good corporate citizens and it's the correct thing to do -- Right?
At any rate, this constantly fluctuating agenda is problematic on any number of levels and nearly impossible to service in a country where development takes at least a year, two if you're working in television or sometimes three if your project is at the CBC.
If any of these bureaucrats actually understood the business they regulate, they might realize that our artists and technicians do not operate in a vacuum. Therefore, when you mandate that a production must take place "regionally", you create more problems than whatever ones you are endeavoring to address.
The minute a production goes into prep, there's a rapid deployment of people and resources to create the program as quickly and efficiently as possible. Production offices are set up, studios booked or created, contracts negotiated for the goods and services this movie/TV army needs to get to work. That's everything from hiring actors and grips to finding portable toilets.
On a longterm project like a TV series, you're booking these elements for up to 10 months. And everyone you bring in has to be as accessible as possible for the production to operate smoothly.
In addition to your regular cast, for example, you're hiring up to a small Battalion of performers. And hard as it may be to believe, even actors working regularly on a series need to augment their earnings by working in theatre, doing commercials or voice-overs on the days you're not using them.
That's why major production centers developed in Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver. Work opportunities at the CBC in these cities, combined with a wide array of theatrical venues serving these larger populations, assisted by corporate headquarters that drove the advertising business, led to large numbers of actors making their homes in these cities. In time, the critical mass created by a large community of actors, writers and directors, inevitably sparked greater creative endeavor.
Can you recreate that all across the country? No. Never been done anywhere. Can't be. There simply isn't enough shelf-space for the product that would be created, no matter how many tiers of cable you build.
And especially when the tiers that already exist don't have to do any drama.
That's not to say you can't do stuff in Regina or Sudbury. Of course you can. But while cities of this size might be able to sustain some production, they can seldom fully support the needs of imports thoughtlessly foisted upon them.
Let's say we've got a show with a dozen supporting actors on a particular episode. We might be able to pull some from the local pool. But often there will be artists with more experience, specific skills or greater recognition value elsewhere. If I want to use one of those actors, I have to import them, pay their travel, accommodation and per diems -- which increases my production costs and eats into whatever incentives I've gained by being 150 clicks away from a major production center.
Actors sometimes get sick or otherwise need to be replaced at the last minute. They may be available for the Monday and Tuesday you were going to use them, but they're not now that you've slipped their shoot days to Thursday and Friday. In a major production center, you might be able to replace someone on a couple of hours notice. Working regionally, it'll take two hours just to fly them in. Again, increased costs and an increased potential that you're compromising the aesthetic of your show.
Let's take something as technically simple as rain bars. For the uninitiated, rain bars are a piece of equipment that simulate rain. They're not expensive to book for a day, but a pointless expense to carry around for an entire shoot. You only use them in two instances. To create a rain effect or (most often) to cover for the fact that you started a scene shooting in actual rain and need continuity now that the skies have cleared.
So, let's assume a scene is half shot and the clouds roll away. Unless there is a fully stocked effects house 150 clicks from the major production center I can't shoot in, it'll take those bars 2 hours to get to me. That's two hours the crew is either sitting around eating me out of craft service or shooting something they hadn't planned to shoot. Again an increase in expense and a potential loss of show quality.
But this pales by comparison to the real cost of shooting 150 clicks away from a major production center. The human cost.
Over the past few years, local incentives have driven a lot of production from Toronto to Hamilton. Crews that once had a 20 minute average commute to work and could often catch a bus or subway to get there, now endure a 2 hour commute either way.
Two hours in good weather -- not the kind of weather we get in Canada about half the year -- and not accounting for the normal delays along Canada's most traveled corridor.
In other words -- two hours if you're lucky.
Isn't it interesting that while the government is spending enormous amounts of money to convince people to drive less and consider their carbon footprint, one government department is mandating that people in the film industry consume even greater amounts of fossil fuel.
Film crews work an average 12 hour day. That means these guys drive 2 hours, work 12 and then drive two more to get home. At least 16 of every 24 hours are taken up by their jobs. Sometimes that's six days a week. Add a couple more hours for weather and delays.
Isn't it interesting that while we have a government spending countless amounts to strengthen the family and paying people to stay home and raise their kids, we have CRTC/CAVCO/CTF rules which reduce the time film crews can spend with their families and increase their chances of dying through sleep deprivation.
Sleep deprivation research isn't exactly a new science. Doctors have known for years that lack of sleep can lead to everything from clinical depression to heart disease and a compromised immune system. It's considered a factor in one out of six traffic accidents, accounting for more than 25,000 highway deaths and 2.7 Million injuries annually in the United States alone.
Isn't it interesting that while government health agencies are working to reduce sleep deprivation, one government department is making it mandatory.
The only conclusion is that they want to get rid of us.
And they are succeeding.
Brent Hershman was a 35-year-old camera assistant on “Pleasantville”. He died in a single car accident on the Century Freeway at 1:30am on March 6, 1997 after working a succession of 18 and 19 hour days.
Brent wasn't the first film crew member to die falling asleep at the wheel. The Directors Guild of America had logged several cases among their own membership. But many in the industry determined he would be the last.
Within days, the DGA, along with the International Photographers Guild; The International Alliance of Theatrical and Stage Employees (IATSE), the WGA and SAG had signatures from more than 10,000 industry professionals calling for more humane working conditions – especially for "below the line" crew.
The resulting BRENT’S RULE is now widely adhered to by LA production companies, but that makes little difference in Canada, where the hunger for runaway production has kept ACTRA minimum turnaround to 12 hours (SAG is ten) and when government rules on regional production add to the commute to get to a film set in the first place.
These rules are destroying the family lives of people working in our industry. They're making us work longer hours to produce a lower quality product. And most importantly, people are being injured and killed.
Part of me wonders how long regional production would remain a requirement if the folks at the CRTC/CAVCO/CTF were made to relocate their offices to wherever they decide they want production taking place next year.
I'm sure those places will all have at least one Starbucks and a trendy bistro where you can get a nice Penne Alfredo. But those establishments won't be right next door -- the cities won't provide easy access to all the industry soirées film bureaucrats like to frequent -- the locations won't make it easy to get home after your civil service union 8 hour day and being there won't get the work done as efficiently.
The next time you meet one of the folks from the CRTC/CAVCO/CTF cabal consider whether that smile they're offering you is friendly or harbors thoughts more vulpine -- and think twice about shaking their hands...
...because there's blood on them.
Not a big deal. Where were they thinking -- Montreal, Vancouver...?
"No. We want you here. But there are some new rules. So it has to be at 150 Kilometers from Toronto."
"Orillia?"
They weren't amused.
I actually wasn't either -- but for different reasons. You see, our various government funding agencies have moved from their historically benign dislike of Canadian artists to actively trying to kill us.
And unfortunately, I mean that literally.
Yes. Those apparently nice, Latte sipping administrative types who explain the nuances of government regulations and make sure all the boxes are ticked on our application forms have turned homicidal.
No film or television project is ever realized without its producers jumping through a lot of hoops, keeping multiple plates spinning simultaneously and juggling any number of elements. To this three ring circus act, the Canadian government, in their infinite lack of wisdom, has added the obstacle course of regional production.
Now, don't get me wrong. If you want to live and work in Edmonton in February, good for you. You have just as much right as anybody else to live and work where they want.
But apparently you don't have that right if you live in Toronto, Montreal or Vancouver, where the film and television business has become more or less "established".
If you think about any film industry in any other nation, it tends to center in two or three places, for all kinds of logical business reasons.
Not here.
The concept of Regionalizing production may satisfy politicians who want to see their constituents tax dollars spent locally. But you can't build a viable film industry that way. In fact, it's a sure-fire recipe for making sure it never happens.
Imagine asking most of the production companies in Hollywood to relocate to Pismo Beach if they want their project green-lit. Consider what Woody Allen or Spike Lee's films would look like if they had to be shot in Newark. Take your life in your hands and tell Robert Rodriguez he's giving up Austin for Padre Island.
And maybe give some thought to the "suppliers" of the industry. The people who have no say in what gets conceived or made. They rent cameras, build props and costumes, or sustain state of the art post houses. Now imagine how their profit margins (which have always been thin) are impacted by having to serve customers who have no choice but to work in areas where such operations are not resident because they couldn't survive and everything has to be shipped in.
This week a Producer friend said, "They're spreading things so thin, nobody can survive anymore." She's right. And as far as I'm concerned that's the plan. The juicy side effect is that the Bureaucats also get to murder some of us in the process.
Yes, I said "murder" and I'm not trying to be sensationalist.
To keep producers awake amid all their hoop jumping, plate spinning and ball juggling, the bureacrats who use our industry to practise social engineering constantly change the rules whereby you can achieve and receive the tax credits, certifications and incentives you need in Canada to produce.
So, one year there will be gains to be had for using previously unproduced writers or directors, including diversity in your casting or shooting in a gravel pit in Winnipeg. A year later, the new writers are out of luck because we now must use writers of diversity. Actors of Asian or African descent are back waiting tables because there are now extra points for casting Aboriginals and the gravel pit has migrated to a spot just outside Moncton.
Before anybody dubs me the David Duke of Canada, I'll point out I was born on a reservation, have been honored by the NAACP for a series episode I did on Racism and probably hold the Canadian record for the number of artists from minority cultures, non-traditional sexual orientation or physical disability I've broken into the business.
And that doesn't make me special. It merely places me on a par with most of the Canadian producers I know. We make our hiring judgements primarily on talent.
However, if there's one thing I've noted about Canadian film and television, it's that while there's a lot of diversity among the people who make it -- the faces in the government agencies and network offices we deal with remain predominantly of one hue.
All this is to say -- surely the people who make policy for CAVCO, the CRTC, CTF and Telefilm can't be suggesting that without their strict government regulations and cash incentives, those who own our networks, highly respectable corporations like BCE, BellGlobeMedia, CanWest, Rogers, Quebecor and our own federal government through the state owned CBC and Radio-Canada would not AUTOMATICALLY make sure the airwaves reflected the cultural and regional diversity of the country!
That would simply be standard practice because they're good corporate citizens and it's the correct thing to do -- Right?
At any rate, this constantly fluctuating agenda is problematic on any number of levels and nearly impossible to service in a country where development takes at least a year, two if you're working in television or sometimes three if your project is at the CBC.
If any of these bureaucrats actually understood the business they regulate, they might realize that our artists and technicians do not operate in a vacuum. Therefore, when you mandate that a production must take place "regionally", you create more problems than whatever ones you are endeavoring to address.
The minute a production goes into prep, there's a rapid deployment of people and resources to create the program as quickly and efficiently as possible. Production offices are set up, studios booked or created, contracts negotiated for the goods and services this movie/TV army needs to get to work. That's everything from hiring actors and grips to finding portable toilets.
On a longterm project like a TV series, you're booking these elements for up to 10 months. And everyone you bring in has to be as accessible as possible for the production to operate smoothly.
In addition to your regular cast, for example, you're hiring up to a small Battalion of performers. And hard as it may be to believe, even actors working regularly on a series need to augment their earnings by working in theatre, doing commercials or voice-overs on the days you're not using them.
That's why major production centers developed in Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver. Work opportunities at the CBC in these cities, combined with a wide array of theatrical venues serving these larger populations, assisted by corporate headquarters that drove the advertising business, led to large numbers of actors making their homes in these cities. In time, the critical mass created by a large community of actors, writers and directors, inevitably sparked greater creative endeavor.
Can you recreate that all across the country? No. Never been done anywhere. Can't be. There simply isn't enough shelf-space for the product that would be created, no matter how many tiers of cable you build.
And especially when the tiers that already exist don't have to do any drama.
That's not to say you can't do stuff in Regina or Sudbury. Of course you can. But while cities of this size might be able to sustain some production, they can seldom fully support the needs of imports thoughtlessly foisted upon them.
Let's say we've got a show with a dozen supporting actors on a particular episode. We might be able to pull some from the local pool. But often there will be artists with more experience, specific skills or greater recognition value elsewhere. If I want to use one of those actors, I have to import them, pay their travel, accommodation and per diems -- which increases my production costs and eats into whatever incentives I've gained by being 150 clicks away from a major production center.
Actors sometimes get sick or otherwise need to be replaced at the last minute. They may be available for the Monday and Tuesday you were going to use them, but they're not now that you've slipped their shoot days to Thursday and Friday. In a major production center, you might be able to replace someone on a couple of hours notice. Working regionally, it'll take two hours just to fly them in. Again, increased costs and an increased potential that you're compromising the aesthetic of your show.
Let's take something as technically simple as rain bars. For the uninitiated, rain bars are a piece of equipment that simulate rain. They're not expensive to book for a day, but a pointless expense to carry around for an entire shoot. You only use them in two instances. To create a rain effect or (most often) to cover for the fact that you started a scene shooting in actual rain and need continuity now that the skies have cleared.
So, let's assume a scene is half shot and the clouds roll away. Unless there is a fully stocked effects house 150 clicks from the major production center I can't shoot in, it'll take those bars 2 hours to get to me. That's two hours the crew is either sitting around eating me out of craft service or shooting something they hadn't planned to shoot. Again an increase in expense and a potential loss of show quality.
But this pales by comparison to the real cost of shooting 150 clicks away from a major production center. The human cost.
Over the past few years, local incentives have driven a lot of production from Toronto to Hamilton. Crews that once had a 20 minute average commute to work and could often catch a bus or subway to get there, now endure a 2 hour commute either way.
Two hours in good weather -- not the kind of weather we get in Canada about half the year -- and not accounting for the normal delays along Canada's most traveled corridor.
In other words -- two hours if you're lucky.
Isn't it interesting that while the government is spending enormous amounts of money to convince people to drive less and consider their carbon footprint, one government department is mandating that people in the film industry consume even greater amounts of fossil fuel.
Film crews work an average 12 hour day. That means these guys drive 2 hours, work 12 and then drive two more to get home. At least 16 of every 24 hours are taken up by their jobs. Sometimes that's six days a week. Add a couple more hours for weather and delays.
Isn't it interesting that while we have a government spending countless amounts to strengthen the family and paying people to stay home and raise their kids, we have CRTC/CAVCO/CTF rules which reduce the time film crews can spend with their families and increase their chances of dying through sleep deprivation.
Sleep deprivation research isn't exactly a new science. Doctors have known for years that lack of sleep can lead to everything from clinical depression to heart disease and a compromised immune system. It's considered a factor in one out of six traffic accidents, accounting for more than 25,000 highway deaths and 2.7 Million injuries annually in the United States alone.
Isn't it interesting that while government health agencies are working to reduce sleep deprivation, one government department is making it mandatory.
The only conclusion is that they want to get rid of us.
And they are succeeding.
Brent Hershman was a 35-year-old camera assistant on “Pleasantville”. He died in a single car accident on the Century Freeway at 1:30am on March 6, 1997 after working a succession of 18 and 19 hour days.
Brent wasn't the first film crew member to die falling asleep at the wheel. The Directors Guild of America had logged several cases among their own membership. But many in the industry determined he would be the last.
Within days, the DGA, along with the International Photographers Guild; The International Alliance of Theatrical and Stage Employees (IATSE), the WGA and SAG had signatures from more than 10,000 industry professionals calling for more humane working conditions – especially for "below the line" crew.
The resulting BRENT’S RULE is now widely adhered to by LA production companies, but that makes little difference in Canada, where the hunger for runaway production has kept ACTRA minimum turnaround to 12 hours (SAG is ten) and when government rules on regional production add to the commute to get to a film set in the first place.
These rules are destroying the family lives of people working in our industry. They're making us work longer hours to produce a lower quality product. And most importantly, people are being injured and killed.
Part of me wonders how long regional production would remain a requirement if the folks at the CRTC/CAVCO/CTF were made to relocate their offices to wherever they decide they want production taking place next year.
I'm sure those places will all have at least one Starbucks and a trendy bistro where you can get a nice Penne Alfredo. But those establishments won't be right next door -- the cities won't provide easy access to all the industry soirées film bureaucrats like to frequent -- the locations won't make it easy to get home after your civil service union 8 hour day and being there won't get the work done as efficiently.
The next time you meet one of the folks from the CRTC/CAVCO/CTF cabal consider whether that smile they're offering you is friendly or harbors thoughts more vulpine -- and think twice about shaking their hands...
...because there's blood on them.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
The Home Stretch
This is the first time I've ever been out of a hockey pool before the final round. Hard to believe, but there it is on the standings page of the Online Pools website. A little green line through my name. Done. Finished. Hangin' 'em up for another season.
And in the spirit of Chris Chelios, I'm not lining up to shake hands. Real players do not feign acceptance of a cruel fate. We do not go gentle in that good night. Nope, we go into the locker room and break things.
I blame my downfall on the Nashville Predators, my hillbilly heart winning out over my prairie rink rat head when I was making my picks.
I was in Nashville the day the NHL announced they were coming to town. Sitting in a local diner minding my own business and reading the sports page as the short order cook wandered over. "Yer Canadjun ain'tcha?" Yup. "This hockey's what they played in ROLLERBALL, right?" I assured him it was.
It was an uphill battle for the Preds in a town that had barely heard of hockey, but Nashville, a city that feels more like a small town than any US city I've been in, liked them from the start.
There was an inspired marketing campaign with country stars like Garth Brooks, Alan Jackson and Amy Grant smiling over copy soliciting season tickets, their front teeth blacked out.
And Canadian hockey players cut quite a swath through the Southern star firmament. By my count, a half dozen country stars and starlets ended up marrying guys from Canada whose music collection consisted of Nickleback and...(uh) Nickleback.
The news tonight is that Jim Balsillie, CEO of the evil Crackberry empire has bought the Predators and may move them to Kitchener. Much as I'd love to see another Canadian team, I'm hoping the Predators stay where they are. It's not just the symbolic triumph of the ultimate icon of the power cabal over working class values. We may have rabid fans here, but consider how rabid you must be to pull on a hockey jersey in a town that wears nothing without rhinestones and only says "Puck" when its got a cheekful of Redman.
Americans are beginning to get hockey. Not the ones who work at NBC or apparently in the NHL's head office, but the ones who are starting to watch their kids play -- not to mention the kids themselves.
You only have to once see the glow on the face of an 8 year old coming off the ice, having stepped on it knowing he can never be Albert Pujols or Michael Jordan, to understand the thrill of finding a game where scrawny little white guys can be heroes. Expect several stars to come out for the Anaheim-Ottawa series too and not just ex-pats or those who need to be seen.
I especially want to spot a mad-pulp-bastard in the Anaheim stands wearing a Senators jersey with a severed head. Don't let me down, Cunningham! You can pay off the ticket debt with all the swag you've got coming in about 10 days.
And most importantly -- GO DUCKS!!!! Please do not let the Cup end up in Ottawa! Us Leaf fans will never overcome the humiliation.
The Standings as we head into the final round.
1 Bill Cunningham 148
2 Dave Moses 134
3 Mark Askwith 127
4 Michael Foster 125
5 Micah Reid 114
5 Denis McGrath 114
7 Will Dixon 111
7 Juniper 111
9 John Whaley 106
9 Larry Raskin 106
11 Jim Henshaw 103
12 Mark Farrell 89
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Joss Whedon Can Teach Us All
The post is called: "Let's watch a girl get beaten to death."
The writer is Joss Whedon, creator of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Firefly", who claims he "snapped," after viewing two online videos.
The first was CNN's cellphone-recorded "honor killing" of Dua Khalil, a teenager of 17 in Bashiqa, Iraq.
The second clip was the trailer for "Captivity", a release from Canada's Lionsgate Studios starring Canadian actress Elisha Cuthbert.
If you want to learn the art of writing for series television, you will find no better examples than Joss Whedon's scripts. The pilot for "Buffy" grabs you from page one and makes it clear, no matter what preconceptions you might have of the genre, the premise or television in general, that you are in the hands of a master story teller.
But Whedon's post last Sunday on one of his fan sites illustrates that he deserves to be admired for much more than his writing and producing skills.
"It’s safe to say that I’ve snapped. That something broke, like one of those robots you can conquer with a logical conundrum. All my life I’ve looked at this faulty equation, trying to understand, and I’ve shorted out. I don’t pretend to be a great guy; I know really really well about objectification, trust me. And I’m not for a second going down the “women are saints” route – that just leads to more stone-throwing (and occasional Joan-burning). I just think there is the staggering imbalance in the world that we all just take for granted. If we were all told the sky was evil, or at best a little embarrassing, and we ought not look at it, wouldn’t that tradition eventually fall apart?"
"...it’s no longer enough to be a decent person. It’s no longer enough to shake our heads and make concerned grimaces at the news. True enlightened activism is the only thing that can save humanity from itself. I’ve always had a bent towards apocalyptic fiction, and I’m beginning to understand why."
Whedon concludes his post with words every writer worthy of using that term in self reference should memorize and make as much a part of their daily ritual as turning on the computer and typing "FADE IN:"
"All I ask is this: Do something. Try something. Speaking out, showing up, writing a letter, a check, a strongly worded e-mail. Pick a cause – there are few unworthy ones. And nudge yourself past the brink of tacit support to action. Once a month, once a year, or just once. Even just learning enough about a subject so you can speak against an opponent eloquently makes you an unusual personage. Start with that. Any one of you would have cried out, would have intervened, had you been in that crowd in Bashiqa. Well thanks to digital technology, you’re all in it now.
I have never had any faith in humanity. But I will give us props on this: if we can evolve, invent and theorize our way into the technologically magical, culturally diverse and artistically magnificent race we are and still get people to buy the idiotic idea that half of us are inferior, we’re pretty amazing. Let our next sleight of hand be to make that myth disappear.
The sky isn’t evil. Try looking up."
Thanks for this, Josh. Thanks for the reminder of the power we all have and that the pen will always be mightier than the sword.
The writer is Joss Whedon, creator of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Firefly", who claims he "snapped," after viewing two online videos.
The first was CNN's cellphone-recorded "honor killing" of Dua Khalil, a teenager of 17 in Bashiqa, Iraq.
The second clip was the trailer for "Captivity", a release from Canada's Lionsgate Studios starring Canadian actress Elisha Cuthbert.
If you want to learn the art of writing for series television, you will find no better examples than Joss Whedon's scripts. The pilot for "Buffy" grabs you from page one and makes it clear, no matter what preconceptions you might have of the genre, the premise or television in general, that you are in the hands of a master story teller.
But Whedon's post last Sunday on one of his fan sites illustrates that he deserves to be admired for much more than his writing and producing skills.
"It’s safe to say that I’ve snapped. That something broke, like one of those robots you can conquer with a logical conundrum. All my life I’ve looked at this faulty equation, trying to understand, and I’ve shorted out. I don’t pretend to be a great guy; I know really really well about objectification, trust me. And I’m not for a second going down the “women are saints” route – that just leads to more stone-throwing (and occasional Joan-burning). I just think there is the staggering imbalance in the world that we all just take for granted. If we were all told the sky was evil, or at best a little embarrassing, and we ought not look at it, wouldn’t that tradition eventually fall apart?"
"...it’s no longer enough to be a decent person. It’s no longer enough to shake our heads and make concerned grimaces at the news. True enlightened activism is the only thing that can save humanity from itself. I’ve always had a bent towards apocalyptic fiction, and I’m beginning to understand why."
Whedon concludes his post with words every writer worthy of using that term in self reference should memorize and make as much a part of their daily ritual as turning on the computer and typing "FADE IN:"
"All I ask is this: Do something. Try something. Speaking out, showing up, writing a letter, a check, a strongly worded e-mail. Pick a cause – there are few unworthy ones. And nudge yourself past the brink of tacit support to action. Once a month, once a year, or just once. Even just learning enough about a subject so you can speak against an opponent eloquently makes you an unusual personage. Start with that. Any one of you would have cried out, would have intervened, had you been in that crowd in Bashiqa. Well thanks to digital technology, you’re all in it now.
I have never had any faith in humanity. But I will give us props on this: if we can evolve, invent and theorize our way into the technologically magical, culturally diverse and artistically magnificent race we are and still get people to buy the idiotic idea that half of us are inferior, we’re pretty amazing. Let our next sleight of hand be to make that myth disappear.
The sky isn’t evil. Try looking up."
Thanks for this, Josh. Thanks for the reminder of the power we all have and that the pen will always be mightier than the sword.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
You Blinked!
I need one of you guys in Gatineau to get this to your boss.
Don't try to hide! I know you're there. Every time I use four letter words like CRTC or reference Konrad von Finckenstein, my hits from your side of the river spike like gas prices on a summer long weekend.
Maybe the boss is even reading them before you can prep the synopsis. You think?
If so -- vF, can I have a moment? And I hope you don't mind me calling you vF. I'd love to stick to the formalities rightly due you and your office but I'm going to get carpel tunnel if I have to type Konrad von Finckenstein over and over.
Okay. The reason we need to talk is this. You've been snookered, pal. Had. As in Fooled -- Tricked -- or more contemporarily...
You remember when you were a Judge and lawyers in your courtroom used to signal somebody was fibbing by tugging their wigs lower -- literally "pulling the wool over their eyes"? Well, apparently nobody signaled you during the recent hearings with Canada's more significant Broadcasters and Re-Broadcasters. So I guess you missed what was really going on.
I think you might have suspected something was up since you dropped your recent ruling on a Friday while everybody was packing for the cottage. But us folks who actually work in showbiz, we noticed. And I thought somebody should tell you what's really going on so you could maybe change your mind on Tuesday.
But first, let's talk about how I was able to recognize your situation...
On a warm spring day almost exactly 19 years ago, I winged my way to LA for a meeting about becoming head writer for "Friday the 13th: The Series". Things were busy TV wise in the Great White North, but the film biz was faltering. The Ottawa brain trust that ran Telefilm and mapped "Cultural Policy" had been wrestling with ways to get Canadian film to the next level for more than two years as the business they were intent on saving withered and died around them.
Telefilm's goal back then was to have Canadian films be truly Canadian, as opposed to the not even "B" movie stuff we'd produced through the early 80's. They also wanted home grown product to account for 15% of available screen time.
The Mulroney government, leery of doing anything that might parallel the Liberal "tax credit" scams that produced most of those "not even B" movies, intended to fund and promote this great leap forward with what was called the "Film Importation Bill"; an Act which (instead of fleecing taxpayers) would take a few pennies from each film ticket sold for a non-Canadian feature and direct it toward indigenous fare.
These types of levies had been quite common at various times around the world. Hollywood, the prime target, had always survived them, and some programs similar to the one the Canadian government was devising had helped infant industries bootstrap themselves to a competitive level while also finally getting their own stories onto local screens.
If you happen to be a history buff or Canadian film masochist, here's a CBC clip that provides the background. Remember to click the video link so you can see Peter Mansbridge with hair.
Anyway -- US president Ronald Reagan and Hollywood Hit Man, Jack Valenti, were fighting hard against this possibility. The former insisted it contradicted the newly signed Free Trade pact while the latter held that Canada was inextricably tied to the American market. According to both the Movie Star turned President and the Presidential Aide turned Hollywood Ninja, if Canada made this move, ticket prices would skyrocket, audiences would be denied the chance to see many far more popular American films, distribution chains would collapse, and the movies and artists that came out of such a program could be denied American distribution in retaliation.
On the day I boarded my plane, Heritage Minister Flora MacDonald finally killed the bill and Telefilm changed course to concentrate on "industrializing". That meant making sure even more American productions came up here, so those out of work feature crews could keep paying their income taxes.
Although I work a lot on television, I started in Indy films and that's where my heart will always be. And much as I was looking forward to the possibility of working on this new series, I had a couple of feature scripts out there that I knew were now as good as dead.
In one of those anomalies of East to West travel, where you get off a plane around the same time you got on it, I arrived in LA to discover what was headline news in our morning papers was also the top story in "Variety" and "The Hollywood Reporter".
My meeting was with Frank Mancuso Jr. at Paramount. We'd never spoken, but I had been well-briefed by a few insiders. He was the son of Paramount CEO Frank Mancuso Sr. and the force behind the hugely successful "Friday the 13th" slasher franchise. Those who didn't like Frank or his movies characterized him as a spoiled rich kid or only on the lot because of daddy. Those who liked him or the films called him "lucky".
In reality, he was one of the brightest producers I've ever worked with. He had his own assessment of the Jason phenomenon but was enough of a showman to keep giving that audience what they wanted. He would go on to do some truly egregious movies like "Back to the Beach" and "He Said, She Said" but also produced good films like "Permanent Record", "Internal Affairs", "Ronin" and more recently, Andy Garcia's achingly poetic "The Lost City".
Far from a dilitante, Frank taught me an enormous amount about being true to your creative convictions, never giving in to corporate duplicity and especially -- how Hollywood thinks.
I arrived on the Paramount lot and was escorted into his well-appointed office, where he was reading the Hollywood Reporter. He smiled at me, pointed to the headline and said, "You blinked!"
"Excuse me?"
"Your government. They blinked."
He went on to explain that virtually every studio in LA had assumed the Film Importation Bill was a done deal. A few good movies had come out of Canada lately. Much of the talent was already making names for themselves in LA. It only made sense that such potential should be exploited.
Oh, sure, they'd sicked Valenti on us. That made sense too. Maybe they could reduce the size of the levy, find ways to qualify American controlled films as Canadian much as they had in Germany, Italy or the UK.
And then we blinked, rolled over, showed our tummy and slunk away to let our artists wither and a film industry remain stillborn.
I was astonished at how simple it all was. To be honest, I think that's why Frank hired me. He sensed I was easily impressed.
A couple of years later, I ran into Frank's dad at my first NATPE convention. Frank Sr. asked what I thought of the TV marketing madhouse that is NATPE. I told him I was confused. Everybody I talked to contradicted each other. It was hard to separate the truth from the lies.
He shook his head. "Nobody Lies", he said. "They tell you the truth they need you to believe."
That's what happened at your hearings, vF. Canada's Broadcasters and Re-Broadcasters spun tales of doom and gloom, collapsing networks, no money for Canadian drama and only "Carriage fees" would save them -- and the culture.
They told you the truth they needed you to believe. And you blinked.
These guys never wanted "Carriage Fees". They knew no right thinking cable or satellite subscriber was going to pay to see the same programming they were already paying to see from the US stations in their package. They knew no profit minded cable/satellite provider was going to put up with the outcry and canceled subscriptions that would follow such a move.
Nope, they just wanted another "no strings attached" hand-out -- and you handed it out.
Our Broadcasters and Re-Broadcasters are now in a position to earn as much as $300,000 more per hour of primetime programming. This after a year in which their profits were so high that two of them had enough cash just lying around to buy up some of the competition.
What will the Canadians who own the airwaves these guys use receive in return for such a financial windfall? Nothing but more commercials. What will the Canadians who make Canadian television programming receive? Nothing that helps us make better programming, or perhaps any programming -- and we'll also get fewer promotional spots, meaning far fewer Canadians will even know our programs exist.
You stated that you made your decision to "give broadcasters additional revenue to deal with increasing competition from cable channels, new media and other digital platforms". For the life of me, I've never been able to understand why you feel the need to keep these people viable when they can't seem to remain competitive on their own.
I guess you also don't know that they own most of those cable channels, tie up new media rights in any programs they license and through the ISP's they also already own, control a significant portion of emerging digital platforms.
It was somewhat telling that the first comment from the CBC about your decision stated: "Over the longer term, the net result will be fewer opportunities for Canadian stories to be told."
This from the network who counts among its jewels for the coming season, "The Tudors", a mini-series about a 400 year old British King, which had already reduced the opportunities for Canadian stories to be told prior to your ruling.
I hope you'll be reading the Entertainment pages as you prepare for Banff, vF, so you can see how our Re-Broadcasters use their newfound wealth to buy foreign programming. I hope you'll be able to face the people who struggle to make programming here without any assistance from you to help them "deal with increasing competition, new media and other digital platforms."
There's still time to fix this mistake. I'm not the only one who's already noticing. There are great posts by my industry confrères Will and DMC and Caroline, offering their insights and ideas.
Hey, maybe you could use Banff to drop the other shoe! By adding two minutes of hourly ads to the current twelve, your ruling has increased Broadcaster ad revenue by 15% -- maybe you could announce a mandatory spend of 15% of ad revenue for Canadian drama.
Seems only fair.
I know we've only asked for 7%, which the nets insisted they couldn't afford. Seems that argument's out the window now. Tell you what -- we'll ask 15 and you give us 10. Then everybody's ahead. And we'll all blink back, but only using one eye.
But understand this, vF, if you don't drop that other shoe -- then you really will have blinked when you could have made a real difference. And you'll also prove the truth in that old joke that lawyers used to tell behind your back...
Q: What do you call the dumbest lawyer in the room?
A: Your Honor.
Don't try to hide! I know you're there. Every time I use four letter words like CRTC or reference Konrad von Finckenstein, my hits from your side of the river spike like gas prices on a summer long weekend.
Maybe the boss is even reading them before you can prep the synopsis. You think?
If so -- vF, can I have a moment? And I hope you don't mind me calling you vF. I'd love to stick to the formalities rightly due you and your office but I'm going to get carpel tunnel if I have to type Konrad von Finckenstein over and over.
Okay. The reason we need to talk is this. You've been snookered, pal. Had. As in Fooled -- Tricked -- or more contemporarily...
You remember when you were a Judge and lawyers in your courtroom used to signal somebody was fibbing by tugging their wigs lower -- literally "pulling the wool over their eyes"? Well, apparently nobody signaled you during the recent hearings with Canada's more significant Broadcasters and Re-Broadcasters. So I guess you missed what was really going on.
I think you might have suspected something was up since you dropped your recent ruling on a Friday while everybody was packing for the cottage. But us folks who actually work in showbiz, we noticed. And I thought somebody should tell you what's really going on so you could maybe change your mind on Tuesday.
But first, let's talk about how I was able to recognize your situation...
On a warm spring day almost exactly 19 years ago, I winged my way to LA for a meeting about becoming head writer for "Friday the 13th: The Series". Things were busy TV wise in the Great White North, but the film biz was faltering. The Ottawa brain trust that ran Telefilm and mapped "Cultural Policy" had been wrestling with ways to get Canadian film to the next level for more than two years as the business they were intent on saving withered and died around them.
Telefilm's goal back then was to have Canadian films be truly Canadian, as opposed to the not even "B" movie stuff we'd produced through the early 80's. They also wanted home grown product to account for 15% of available screen time.
The Mulroney government, leery of doing anything that might parallel the Liberal "tax credit" scams that produced most of those "not even B" movies, intended to fund and promote this great leap forward with what was called the "Film Importation Bill"; an Act which (instead of fleecing taxpayers) would take a few pennies from each film ticket sold for a non-Canadian feature and direct it toward indigenous fare.
These types of levies had been quite common at various times around the world. Hollywood, the prime target, had always survived them, and some programs similar to the one the Canadian government was devising had helped infant industries bootstrap themselves to a competitive level while also finally getting their own stories onto local screens.
If you happen to be a history buff or Canadian film masochist, here's a CBC clip that provides the background. Remember to click the video link so you can see Peter Mansbridge with hair.
Anyway -- US president Ronald Reagan and Hollywood Hit Man, Jack Valenti, were fighting hard against this possibility. The former insisted it contradicted the newly signed Free Trade pact while the latter held that Canada was inextricably tied to the American market. According to both the Movie Star turned President and the Presidential Aide turned Hollywood Ninja, if Canada made this move, ticket prices would skyrocket, audiences would be denied the chance to see many far more popular American films, distribution chains would collapse, and the movies and artists that came out of such a program could be denied American distribution in retaliation.
On the day I boarded my plane, Heritage Minister Flora MacDonald finally killed the bill and Telefilm changed course to concentrate on "industrializing". That meant making sure even more American productions came up here, so those out of work feature crews could keep paying their income taxes.
Although I work a lot on television, I started in Indy films and that's where my heart will always be. And much as I was looking forward to the possibility of working on this new series, I had a couple of feature scripts out there that I knew were now as good as dead.
In one of those anomalies of East to West travel, where you get off a plane around the same time you got on it, I arrived in LA to discover what was headline news in our morning papers was also the top story in "Variety" and "The Hollywood Reporter".
My meeting was with Frank Mancuso Jr. at Paramount. We'd never spoken, but I had been well-briefed by a few insiders. He was the son of Paramount CEO Frank Mancuso Sr. and the force behind the hugely successful "Friday the 13th" slasher franchise. Those who didn't like Frank or his movies characterized him as a spoiled rich kid or only on the lot because of daddy. Those who liked him or the films called him "lucky".
In reality, he was one of the brightest producers I've ever worked with. He had his own assessment of the Jason phenomenon but was enough of a showman to keep giving that audience what they wanted. He would go on to do some truly egregious movies like "Back to the Beach" and "He Said, She Said" but also produced good films like "Permanent Record", "Internal Affairs", "Ronin" and more recently, Andy Garcia's achingly poetic "The Lost City".
Far from a dilitante, Frank taught me an enormous amount about being true to your creative convictions, never giving in to corporate duplicity and especially -- how Hollywood thinks.
I arrived on the Paramount lot and was escorted into his well-appointed office, where he was reading the Hollywood Reporter. He smiled at me, pointed to the headline and said, "You blinked!"
"Excuse me?"
"Your government. They blinked."
He went on to explain that virtually every studio in LA had assumed the Film Importation Bill was a done deal. A few good movies had come out of Canada lately. Much of the talent was already making names for themselves in LA. It only made sense that such potential should be exploited.
Oh, sure, they'd sicked Valenti on us. That made sense too. Maybe they could reduce the size of the levy, find ways to qualify American controlled films as Canadian much as they had in Germany, Italy or the UK.
And then we blinked, rolled over, showed our tummy and slunk away to let our artists wither and a film industry remain stillborn.
I was astonished at how simple it all was. To be honest, I think that's why Frank hired me. He sensed I was easily impressed.
A couple of years later, I ran into Frank's dad at my first NATPE convention. Frank Sr. asked what I thought of the TV marketing madhouse that is NATPE. I told him I was confused. Everybody I talked to contradicted each other. It was hard to separate the truth from the lies.
He shook his head. "Nobody Lies", he said. "They tell you the truth they need you to believe."
That's what happened at your hearings, vF. Canada's Broadcasters and Re-Broadcasters spun tales of doom and gloom, collapsing networks, no money for Canadian drama and only "Carriage fees" would save them -- and the culture.
They told you the truth they needed you to believe. And you blinked.
These guys never wanted "Carriage Fees". They knew no right thinking cable or satellite subscriber was going to pay to see the same programming they were already paying to see from the US stations in their package. They knew no profit minded cable/satellite provider was going to put up with the outcry and canceled subscriptions that would follow such a move.
Nope, they just wanted another "no strings attached" hand-out -- and you handed it out.
Our Broadcasters and Re-Broadcasters are now in a position to earn as much as $300,000 more per hour of primetime programming. This after a year in which their profits were so high that two of them had enough cash just lying around to buy up some of the competition.
What will the Canadians who own the airwaves these guys use receive in return for such a financial windfall? Nothing but more commercials. What will the Canadians who make Canadian television programming receive? Nothing that helps us make better programming, or perhaps any programming -- and we'll also get fewer promotional spots, meaning far fewer Canadians will even know our programs exist.
You stated that you made your decision to "give broadcasters additional revenue to deal with increasing competition from cable channels, new media and other digital platforms". For the life of me, I've never been able to understand why you feel the need to keep these people viable when they can't seem to remain competitive on their own.
I guess you also don't know that they own most of those cable channels, tie up new media rights in any programs they license and through the ISP's they also already own, control a significant portion of emerging digital platforms.
It was somewhat telling that the first comment from the CBC about your decision stated: "Over the longer term, the net result will be fewer opportunities for Canadian stories to be told."
This from the network who counts among its jewels for the coming season, "The Tudors", a mini-series about a 400 year old British King, which had already reduced the opportunities for Canadian stories to be told prior to your ruling.
I hope you'll be reading the Entertainment pages as you prepare for Banff, vF, so you can see how our Re-Broadcasters use their newfound wealth to buy foreign programming. I hope you'll be able to face the people who struggle to make programming here without any assistance from you to help them "deal with increasing competition, new media and other digital platforms."
There's still time to fix this mistake. I'm not the only one who's already noticing. There are great posts by my industry confrères Will and DMC and Caroline, offering their insights and ideas.
Hey, maybe you could use Banff to drop the other shoe! By adding two minutes of hourly ads to the current twelve, your ruling has increased Broadcaster ad revenue by 15% -- maybe you could announce a mandatory spend of 15% of ad revenue for Canadian drama.
Seems only fair.
I know we've only asked for 7%, which the nets insisted they couldn't afford. Seems that argument's out the window now. Tell you what -- we'll ask 15 and you give us 10. Then everybody's ahead. And we'll all blink back, but only using one eye.
But understand this, vF, if you don't drop that other shoe -- then you really will have blinked when you could have made a real difference. And you'll also prove the truth in that old joke that lawyers used to tell behind your back...
Q: What do you call the dumbest lawyer in the room?
A: Your Honor.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
It Ain't Over Til It's Over
I don't think I've ever been in a hockey pool where one player dominated the field for so long. There's usually some ebb and flow, some flukes and dramatic shifts. But it seems that so far Cunningham can do no wrong.
1 Bill Cunningham 140
2 Dave Moses 126
3 Michael Foster 111
4 Will Dixon 108
5 Micah Reid 107
6 Mark Askwith 106
7 John Whaley 102
8 Denis McGrath 100
9 Jim Henshaw 99
10 Larry Raskin 98
11 Juniper 97
12 Mark Farrell 84
But don't give up! Askwith's still sitting there with a full team, some of whom are actually capable of scoring. And DMC has some solid picks remaining too. This isn't done by a long shot. One of these guys could be the Thomas Holmstrom everybody thought was down and out. Sometimes (as all Leafs fans know) a series can turn on one dumb play.
Yes, Cunningham, the hockey Gods can be fickle. Fans went to bed all over Ottawa last night thinking "Oh no, it's starting..." and I have a feeling Rob Neidermeyer is secretly wishing he'd been suspended from tonight's game along with Chris Pronger. "Mr. Neidermeyer, meet Mr. Maltby. He'd like to show you how to throw an elbow without getting caught..."
In other, better news. Canada's National Team went undefeated in the World Hockey Tournament, with Shane Doan making himself an instant folk hero and a lot of grim faced politicians wishing they'd stuck to the job they were elected to do instead of trying to make some political hay by smearing his name.
Wave "Bye-Bye" Jack Layton. That shadow you saw was the long one you're casting as the sun sets on your sorry, duplicitous ass.
For those who missed it, here are the Host German Broadcasters' highlights of the Gold Medal game. You don't need to watch it all, but scoot ahead to the 2:00 minutes remaining marker to witness one of the best goals you might ever see. Rick Nash should be an example to all writers that determination and refusing to give up is what nets you the winners.
And see you next week. Trust me -- this isn't over...
1 Bill Cunningham 140
2 Dave Moses 126
3 Michael Foster 111
4 Will Dixon 108
5 Micah Reid 107
6 Mark Askwith 106
7 John Whaley 102
8 Denis McGrath 100
9 Jim Henshaw 99
10 Larry Raskin 98
11 Juniper 97
12 Mark Farrell 84
But don't give up! Askwith's still sitting there with a full team, some of whom are actually capable of scoring. And DMC has some solid picks remaining too. This isn't done by a long shot. One of these guys could be the Thomas Holmstrom everybody thought was down and out. Sometimes (as all Leafs fans know) a series can turn on one dumb play.
Yes, Cunningham, the hockey Gods can be fickle. Fans went to bed all over Ottawa last night thinking "Oh no, it's starting..." and I have a feeling Rob Neidermeyer is secretly wishing he'd been suspended from tonight's game along with Chris Pronger. "Mr. Neidermeyer, meet Mr. Maltby. He'd like to show you how to throw an elbow without getting caught..."
In other, better news. Canada's National Team went undefeated in the World Hockey Tournament, with Shane Doan making himself an instant folk hero and a lot of grim faced politicians wishing they'd stuck to the job they were elected to do instead of trying to make some political hay by smearing his name.
Wave "Bye-Bye" Jack Layton. That shadow you saw was the long one you're casting as the sun sets on your sorry, duplicitous ass.
For those who missed it, here are the Host German Broadcasters' highlights of the Gold Medal game. You don't need to watch it all, but scoot ahead to the 2:00 minutes remaining marker to witness one of the best goals you might ever see. Rick Nash should be an example to all writers that determination and refusing to give up is what nets you the winners.
And see you next week. Trust me -- this isn't over...
Sunday, May 06, 2007
I GOT ME A SUMMER GIRLFRIEND
"I figured I needed a six of Miller
And one of those things so I wouldn't spill 'er"
Miranda, honey, this is everybody! Everybody, meet Miranda! She'll be right next to me for the next few months. Yessirree, we're goin' everywhere and doin' everything Summertime together. This sweet little thing and me are gonna be inseparable. And tell ya what, she's not only easy on the eyes -- there's these things she does with her tongue...
The first warm weekend of every spring for as long as I remember, this young man's fancy has always turned to finding a soundtrack to the pending Summer and all that comes with it. Pressed, I can probably name a half dozen tunes I directly link to each of my Summer's past.
I literally played the grooves off two copies of "Rubber Soul" and "Born in the USA" after their summer arrivals. Past years, the player in the truck has been Summer-stocked with Garth and Wilco and Shaggy. Of late, it's almost all Country and this year, the Number One slot, the disk the system automatically seeks when I turn the ignition will be occupied by Miranda Lambert's spectacular new album "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend".
Miranda had a huge hit last year with her debut album "Kerosene" and her 2nd offering solidifies her place as the new voice of Country. Even the City Slickers at the NY Times are writing stories about her and her songs. Whether you're into Country or not, I can assure you, this is one very special singer and there are songs here that will speak to you.
I should also take this opportunity to say that I've always felt way too many screenwriters get all uppity and sophisticated and Urban about C&W and therefore miss all the screenwriting tips they could pick up listening to Country.
Not for nothin' but you should do yourself a favor.
Country's a musical style that's completely story based. The songs deal in real people, real emotions and the themes other music barely acknowledges in passing. Lines scrawled on washroom walls, napkins and Hallmark cards become doorways to the innermost reaches of the human heart. As one Nashville station used to say, "Listen long enough and somebody sings your life".
My favorite Country lyric belongs to Rhett Atkins (Summer of '95):
"That ain't my truck in her drive
This ain't my day tonight
She's my girl – she’s my whole world
But that ain't my truck"
I mean, just says it all, don't it...and in four lines.
I have this TV dialogue rule that you never get more than four lines -- five in only the tightest pinch and if you want more, you better have something exceptionally important to say.
Script Gurus, Network Execs and Studio Readers all insist you must grab their attention by page 10. Well, that's all very nice -- but -- they're lying. The truth is, a good first page buys you that ten. Keeping page two interesting gets them to read up to twenty and so on. By page ten, if you continue to impress, they're in for the whole ride, no matter how tired their lips are getting.
But grabbing them with those first few lines is the key.
Job interviews come down to the first eight seconds. Scripts you get sixty.
And you gotta put a lot in those first lines.
Similarly, a great Country song is able to set the scene in 4-8 lines, describes the emotional point of view in the chorus and tells Act II and Act III in the next two verses. Trust Me! You become a better writer by listening to Country.
Miranda's album has several songs that tell great stories, beginning with the opening number "Gunpowder and Lead"...
"County road 233 under my feet
Nothin' on this white rock but little ole me
I've got two miles til he makes bail
And if I'm right we're headed straight for hell
I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun
Wait by the door and light a cigarette
If he wants a fight well now he's got one
He ain't seen me crazy yet"
To check out the rest, check out Miranda Lambert. I'll bet she turns out to be your summer girlfriend too, as well as an inspiration and perhaps a new muse.
And one of those things so I wouldn't spill 'er"
Miranda, honey, this is everybody! Everybody, meet Miranda! She'll be right next to me for the next few months. Yessirree, we're goin' everywhere and doin' everything Summertime together. This sweet little thing and me are gonna be inseparable. And tell ya what, she's not only easy on the eyes -- there's these things she does with her tongue...
The first warm weekend of every spring for as long as I remember, this young man's fancy has always turned to finding a soundtrack to the pending Summer and all that comes with it. Pressed, I can probably name a half dozen tunes I directly link to each of my Summer's past.
I literally played the grooves off two copies of "Rubber Soul" and "Born in the USA" after their summer arrivals. Past years, the player in the truck has been Summer-stocked with Garth and Wilco and Shaggy. Of late, it's almost all Country and this year, the Number One slot, the disk the system automatically seeks when I turn the ignition will be occupied by Miranda Lambert's spectacular new album "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend".
Miranda had a huge hit last year with her debut album "Kerosene" and her 2nd offering solidifies her place as the new voice of Country. Even the City Slickers at the NY Times are writing stories about her and her songs. Whether you're into Country or not, I can assure you, this is one very special singer and there are songs here that will speak to you.
I should also take this opportunity to say that I've always felt way too many screenwriters get all uppity and sophisticated and Urban about C&W and therefore miss all the screenwriting tips they could pick up listening to Country.
Not for nothin' but you should do yourself a favor.
Country's a musical style that's completely story based. The songs deal in real people, real emotions and the themes other music barely acknowledges in passing. Lines scrawled on washroom walls, napkins and Hallmark cards become doorways to the innermost reaches of the human heart. As one Nashville station used to say, "Listen long enough and somebody sings your life".
My favorite Country lyric belongs to Rhett Atkins (Summer of '95):
"That ain't my truck in her drive
This ain't my day tonight
She's my girl – she’s my whole world
But that ain't my truck"
I mean, just says it all, don't it...and in four lines.
I have this TV dialogue rule that you never get more than four lines -- five in only the tightest pinch and if you want more, you better have something exceptionally important to say.
Script Gurus, Network Execs and Studio Readers all insist you must grab their attention by page 10. Well, that's all very nice -- but -- they're lying. The truth is, a good first page buys you that ten. Keeping page two interesting gets them to read up to twenty and so on. By page ten, if you continue to impress, they're in for the whole ride, no matter how tired their lips are getting.
But grabbing them with those first few lines is the key.
Job interviews come down to the first eight seconds. Scripts you get sixty.
And you gotta put a lot in those first lines.
Similarly, a great Country song is able to set the scene in 4-8 lines, describes the emotional point of view in the chorus and tells Act II and Act III in the next two verses. Trust Me! You become a better writer by listening to Country.
Miranda's album has several songs that tell great stories, beginning with the opening number "Gunpowder and Lead"...
"County road 233 under my feet
Nothin' on this white rock but little ole me
I've got two miles til he makes bail
And if I'm right we're headed straight for hell
I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun
Wait by the door and light a cigarette
If he wants a fight well now he's got one
He ain't seen me crazy yet"
To check out the rest, check out Miranda Lambert. I'll bet she turns out to be your summer girlfriend too, as well as an inspiration and perhaps a new muse.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Time For Some Inglewood Jack
Almost at the end of Round two and the Mad Pulp Bastard continues to lead the way. His urine test arrived a couple of days ago. I don't know why you had to fill a Colt .45 quart bottle, Cunningham. But I suppose I should've known better than to issue the challenge in the first place...
In lieu of opening that bottle and in tribute I post the following blend of hockey and Pulp...
This week's standings:
1 Bill Cunningham 99
2 Michael Foster 88
3 Micah Reid 86
4 Dave Moses 85
5 Will Dixon 83
6 Larry Raskin 82
7 John Whaley 77
8 Jim Henshaw 74
9 Denis McGrath 72
10 Mark Askwith 70
11 Mark Farrell 69
12 Juniper 68
And one final thing for all you Canadian members of the Pool...
This morning, members of Canada's Parliament are gathering in a Committee Room in Ottawa to smear the reputation of our National Team Captain Shane Doan for their own petty political purposes.
Shane's appointment has been called into question by opposition leaders Stephane Dion, Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe, over an incident in which he was accused of uttering a derogatory remark to a French-Canadian referee.
Doan has repeatedly denied he uttered a slur in a game played Dec. 13, 2005, and handled by an all French-Canadian officiating crew. The NHL investigated the incident and completely exonerated him.
Doan says he was trying to calm down goaltender Curtis Joseph, who was upset that a penalty hadn't been called in a game against the Canadiens. As an enraged Joseph hovered around centre ice, Doan skated over to him and yelled: "Four French referees in Montreal, Cuje, figure it out."
But that's not good enough for Canada's politicians, who waited 17 months and the start of International competition so they could grab the spotlight.
NDP Leader Jack Layton has said that Mr. Doan's captaincy "casts a shadow" on the Canadian team. Bloc Québécois Leader Gilles Duceppe says the NHL is not a legitimate tribunal. And Stephane Dion....?
There is a Liberal Candidate named Farhan Chak running in the Alberta Riding of Edmonton-Mill Woods-Beaumont. He was charged with firing a shotgun into a nightclub after a knife fight. Like Mr. Doan, he was exonerated.
Mr. Chak has also published articles that blame the Israeli government for slaughtering, raping and enslaving Palestinians, and suggesting the West masterminded terrorist attacks to discredit Muslims.
Despite questions in Parliament two days ago, about Mr. Chak’s fitness as a candidate, Mr. Dion has stood by him.
So – whatever a politician might say or his indisputable innocence after he's vindicated is one thing but it's okay to smear an ordinary Canadian's reputation in this way?
Please send your MP an email this morning, perhaps asking if there aren't more important things they could be doing.
Here's more from the hockey community courtesy of TSN:
The NHL stands by its decision to clear Shane Doan and says politicians should mind their own business.
Colin Campbell, the NHL's executive vice-president and director of hockey operations, said Wednesday he is mystified that Canadian politicians have revived the Doan controversy.
It's been almost a year and a half since the league cleared the Phoenix Coyotes forward of allegations that he made a derogatory remark to a French-Canadian official during a 2005 game in Montreal.
"I stand by my original comments after our investigation," Campbell told The Canadian Press. "But I would add to it at this point in time, it's rather embarrassing to all Canadian hockey fans we're rehashing this again, particularly when Hockey Canada and Shane Doan are representing and working hard in Moscow right now, competing for our country. It's ridiculous."
The Phoenix Coyotes defended Doan in a statement. "As a member of our organization for 12 seasons, Shane Doan has been a model of sportsmanship, dedication, and excellence for our organization and the Phoenix community," the statement read. "He has repeatedly shown his compassion for people through his many goodwill endeavors, and has held himself to the highest moral standards.
"The Phoenix Coyotes are honored to have Shane Doan represent our organization at the World Championships as captain of Team Canada"
Others in the hockey world also rallied around Doan on Wednesday.
"Totally ridiculous," Canucks head coach Vigneault, a Quebec City native and former coach of the Montreal Canadiens, said in Vancouver. "In the heat of the battle things get said sometimes, a lot worse than being called a French frog or whatever.
"He says he didn't say it. Even if he did, come on," added Vigneault. "If our politicians, French or English, if that's the only thing right now they have to worried about . There's a lot more important things going on right now in society. It is utterly, utterly stupid, not to say embarrassing."
Superstar goalie Martin Brodeur of the New Jersey Devils also wished the politicians had laid off. "It's unfortunate," he said in Ottawa before Game 4 of his playoff series against the Senators. "Coming from Montreal, you can understand that people don't like that when there's speculation over language and whatever.
"I know Shane really good and I don't see him saying that. All these years in the league I never had a problem with it so for me to hear that other people had a problem, I have a hard time to understand it. But everyone has a right to react different ways about situations."
Senators forward Mike Comrie played with Doan in Phoenix and defended his former teammate. "If you know Shane Doan, you would assume he would never make the remarks he's being accused of," said Comrie. "I played with him for three years and I never heard him swear. He's a person people respect."
Canucks forward Alex Burrows of Pincourt, Que., also didn't understand why the politicians were fussing. "I think it's over the limit," said Burrows. "I think it's something that happened two or three years ago.
"The NHL didn't make anything about it, they probably studied the case and nothing came upon it. Now it goes to the government and they are making a big story about it?
"It's kind of funny it's still going on. Hopefully Shane will still be team captain and keep doing the great job for the country."
While Doan, who denies making a slur, has been exonerated by the NHL, some politicians have questioned the league's investigation. Campbell says the NHL followed the rules.
"We have a protocol in these situations that we stand by," said Campbell. "And we use it in every situation where we have accusations regarding slurs or whatever it may be. For some of these politicians to get involved, I would have to think they've got other things pending and they should stay out of our business."
The issue erupted on Parliament Hill this week as opposition parties criticized Doan's selection as Canadian captain. Members of the Conservative government agreed with them that Hockey Canada should be asked to tell their side of the story and voted with the opposition to schedule a hearing before a parliamentary committee to explain why Doan was named captain.
Hockey Canada president Bob Nicholson, chairman Rene Marcil, and senior director Brad Pascall will appear Thursday before the House of Commons' Official Languages Committee.
They were not forced to testify - but could have faced a subpoena had they rejected an initial request from the committee.
Sport Canada was also summoned, and has also agreed to attend. The agency receives $150 million in federal funding and is responsible for Hockey Canada.
In lieu of opening that bottle and in tribute I post the following blend of hockey and Pulp...
This week's standings:
1 Bill Cunningham 99
2 Michael Foster 88
3 Micah Reid 86
4 Dave Moses 85
5 Will Dixon 83
6 Larry Raskin 82
7 John Whaley 77
8 Jim Henshaw 74
9 Denis McGrath 72
10 Mark Askwith 70
11 Mark Farrell 69
12 Juniper 68
And one final thing for all you Canadian members of the Pool...
This morning, members of Canada's Parliament are gathering in a Committee Room in Ottawa to smear the reputation of our National Team Captain Shane Doan for their own petty political purposes.
Shane's appointment has been called into question by opposition leaders Stephane Dion, Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe, over an incident in which he was accused of uttering a derogatory remark to a French-Canadian referee.
Doan has repeatedly denied he uttered a slur in a game played Dec. 13, 2005, and handled by an all French-Canadian officiating crew. The NHL investigated the incident and completely exonerated him.
Doan says he was trying to calm down goaltender Curtis Joseph, who was upset that a penalty hadn't been called in a game against the Canadiens. As an enraged Joseph hovered around centre ice, Doan skated over to him and yelled: "Four French referees in Montreal, Cuje, figure it out."
But that's not good enough for Canada's politicians, who waited 17 months and the start of International competition so they could grab the spotlight.
NDP Leader Jack Layton has said that Mr. Doan's captaincy "casts a shadow" on the Canadian team. Bloc Québécois Leader Gilles Duceppe says the NHL is not a legitimate tribunal. And Stephane Dion....?
There is a Liberal Candidate named Farhan Chak running in the Alberta Riding of Edmonton-Mill Woods-Beaumont. He was charged with firing a shotgun into a nightclub after a knife fight. Like Mr. Doan, he was exonerated.
Mr. Chak has also published articles that blame the Israeli government for slaughtering, raping and enslaving Palestinians, and suggesting the West masterminded terrorist attacks to discredit Muslims.
Despite questions in Parliament two days ago, about Mr. Chak’s fitness as a candidate, Mr. Dion has stood by him.
So – whatever a politician might say or his indisputable innocence after he's vindicated is one thing but it's okay to smear an ordinary Canadian's reputation in this way?
Please send your MP an email this morning, perhaps asking if there aren't more important things they could be doing.
Here's more from the hockey community courtesy of TSN:
The NHL stands by its decision to clear Shane Doan and says politicians should mind their own business.
Colin Campbell, the NHL's executive vice-president and director of hockey operations, said Wednesday he is mystified that Canadian politicians have revived the Doan controversy.
It's been almost a year and a half since the league cleared the Phoenix Coyotes forward of allegations that he made a derogatory remark to a French-Canadian official during a 2005 game in Montreal.
"I stand by my original comments after our investigation," Campbell told The Canadian Press. "But I would add to it at this point in time, it's rather embarrassing to all Canadian hockey fans we're rehashing this again, particularly when Hockey Canada and Shane Doan are representing and working hard in Moscow right now, competing for our country. It's ridiculous."
The Phoenix Coyotes defended Doan in a statement. "As a member of our organization for 12 seasons, Shane Doan has been a model of sportsmanship, dedication, and excellence for our organization and the Phoenix community," the statement read. "He has repeatedly shown his compassion for people through his many goodwill endeavors, and has held himself to the highest moral standards.
"The Phoenix Coyotes are honored to have Shane Doan represent our organization at the World Championships as captain of Team Canada"
Others in the hockey world also rallied around Doan on Wednesday.
"Totally ridiculous," Canucks head coach Vigneault, a Quebec City native and former coach of the Montreal Canadiens, said in Vancouver. "In the heat of the battle things get said sometimes, a lot worse than being called a French frog or whatever.
"He says he didn't say it. Even if he did, come on," added Vigneault. "If our politicians, French or English, if that's the only thing right now they have to worried about . There's a lot more important things going on right now in society. It is utterly, utterly stupid, not to say embarrassing."
Superstar goalie Martin Brodeur of the New Jersey Devils also wished the politicians had laid off. "It's unfortunate," he said in Ottawa before Game 4 of his playoff series against the Senators. "Coming from Montreal, you can understand that people don't like that when there's speculation over language and whatever.
"I know Shane really good and I don't see him saying that. All these years in the league I never had a problem with it so for me to hear that other people had a problem, I have a hard time to understand it. But everyone has a right to react different ways about situations."
Senators forward Mike Comrie played with Doan in Phoenix and defended his former teammate. "If you know Shane Doan, you would assume he would never make the remarks he's being accused of," said Comrie. "I played with him for three years and I never heard him swear. He's a person people respect."
Canucks forward Alex Burrows of Pincourt, Que., also didn't understand why the politicians were fussing. "I think it's over the limit," said Burrows. "I think it's something that happened two or three years ago.
"The NHL didn't make anything about it, they probably studied the case and nothing came upon it. Now it goes to the government and they are making a big story about it?
"It's kind of funny it's still going on. Hopefully Shane will still be team captain and keep doing the great job for the country."
While Doan, who denies making a slur, has been exonerated by the NHL, some politicians have questioned the league's investigation. Campbell says the NHL followed the rules.
"We have a protocol in these situations that we stand by," said Campbell. "And we use it in every situation where we have accusations regarding slurs or whatever it may be. For some of these politicians to get involved, I would have to think they've got other things pending and they should stay out of our business."
The issue erupted on Parliament Hill this week as opposition parties criticized Doan's selection as Canadian captain. Members of the Conservative government agreed with them that Hockey Canada should be asked to tell their side of the story and voted with the opposition to schedule a hearing before a parliamentary committee to explain why Doan was named captain.
Hockey Canada president Bob Nicholson, chairman Rene Marcil, and senior director Brad Pascall will appear Thursday before the House of Commons' Official Languages Committee.
They were not forced to testify - but could have faced a subpoena had they rejected an initial request from the committee.
Sport Canada was also summoned, and has also agreed to attend. The agency receives $150 million in federal funding and is responsible for Hockey Canada.
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