Sunday, September 25, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 437: Live TV

A couple of days ago, the University Professor down the street (and originally Oregon) asked if she could drop over tomorrow night to watch the Presidential debate. Being an academic type, she's never owned a television.

On hearing this, the elderly couple across the way, who've given up cable because "there's nothing worth watching anymore" asked if they could come by as well.

Now I could've mentioned that the debate is streaming online, but the Professor has a cellar of great organic wines and I know the folks across the way have been baking apricot cakes, so why not share my old-timey cable access.

Earlier today, while in a meeting, I realized I was going to miss the kick-off of the Seahawks game. I mentioned it to one of the people present, who promptly offered his iPad, equipped with an app which would make sure I didn't miss any of the action.

There was a time when our Cableco's had a stranglehold on live news and sports, two of the main reasons most people come up with as an excuse not to cut the coaxial media umbilical cord.

But that's just not the case anymore. I watched a chunk of the Charlotte riots this week on a Livestream feed while in the middle of the ocean on a ferry.

As I accessed that link just now, I realized they're streaming the Morongo Pow-wow in their arts and entertainment section, along with the National Book Festival, a Hip-Hop Concert and a lecture by George R.R. Martin from Medill Northwestern University, plus a few dozen other arts related events.

Currently showing on television from the fancy-schmantzy artsy-fartsy CBC -- pictures Vancouverites have taken with their iPhones...

And for that cultural reflection of the nation we pay a billion plus in taxes on top of our cable fees.

This week Youtube updated their own LIVE channel, which you can access by simply going there and searching for "live". Once you subscribe to the channel, you thereafter just click on it from your drop-down list.

That's where you can watch Monday's debate. But if you check out the other offerings, you'll notice something else.

Sunday afternoon used to be the bane of couch potatoes. If you weren't into football, you were pretty much reduced to watching evangelists or infomercials, maybe a gardening show.

It was those hours of television drought that eventually brought forth the 500 channel Universe. And it's the 500 Channel Universe's inability to survive without programming endless repeats of its niche offerings that is driving viewers to look for other options.

Were I addicted to the NFL, which I sorta am, I could get the entirety of its games (live or replay) condensed games, archives and downloads for a price not far removed from what I have to pay to get all the broadcast and sports networks required to follow a full Sunday's football on cable television.

Plus I could watch them at my leisure, not crammed into one afternoon and without clicking back and forth and overworking the PVR while missing a lot while clicking.

But were I anti-football and anti-repeat, I could still go to Youtube Live and find:

Cycling

European Motorcycle Racing

Australian Rugby

South African Cricket

Wrestling

Clinton and Trump Rallies

Computer Gaming

Concerts

A Gaming convention

An Electronics Trade Show

Wildlife cams

The International Space Station

And of course -- kittens

Were I to cut my cable, maybe only to make a statement against Cableco's who won't support Canadian content, I might miss the stuff that will tomorrow pass for "water cooler" comment.

But I may just be able to hang around said watering hole talking about things my workmates either didn't know about or wished they'd watched instead of the pictures people took with an iPhone.

And it's definitely a better way to...

Enjoy Your Sunday.




Sunday, September 18, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 436: Taking Flight



I should've been born closer to the Equator. No matter how long or hot the Summer months have been, I hate to see them fade away.

And (around here at least), they're fading fast. The nights are colder. The days are damper. The dog still wakes me by her clock, the sunrise, but that first light is coming later and later. 

Today, however was a throwback to and we got out early to enjoy it. 

Only to see so few people doing the same.

Oh, they were out there. Talking or texting on their phones. Sitting on their front steps tapping away at a tablet. Cruising through the park, searching for Pokemon.

Now, I'm not saying that there isn't a creative element to many of those activities. But I've begun to wonder what filling our lives with somebody else's imagination does to our own.

Maybe it's no different than me finding a weathered copy of "Tarzan The Ape Man" and spending most of a long ago Summer reading it in a treehouse, while imagining I was in deepest, darkest Africa.

Maybe today's airborne pixels approximate the beams of projector light in the Roxy Theatre or The Broadway that inspired me to seek a career creating the same kind of experiences.

But somehow I don't see kids putting down their devices and then continuing the story, the game or the input they're received in another way.

I hope I'm wrong. But sometimes I think we're losing the ability to imagine, to see a story as parable for something in reality instead of a literal stand-alone tale.

Canadian writer W.O. Mitchell has a wonderful book entitled "The Vanishing Point" which includes a great sequence where a kid in a one room classroom transforms a boring exercise about drawing perspective into an abandoned exhibition of imagination.

I just don't want to see people lose that.

And neither does filmmaker Brandon Oldenberg, who has created a sweet little cartoon about discovering the power of one's imagination and "Taking Flight".

I hope it fires your imagination.

Enjoy Your Sunday.

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Taking Flight from Moonbot Studios on Vimeo.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 435: Rollergirls


I began my first working idyll in Hollywood the Summer of 1979, after teenage years steeped in images of surfers and muscle cars, the music of "The Beach Boys" and TV shows filmed on the Sunset strip.

Los Angeles was still pretty much like that. Thankfully, the Disco sound that had drowned the surf guitars had finally given way to "The Eagles" and Punk. But otherwise, Farrah Fawcett was still the hottest babe on TV, Disneyland still had "E" ticket rides and the surf was always up.

Beautiful big haired blondes were everywhere. But what I hadn't expected was that many of them had traded their knee high boots and stilettos to move around on wheels.

Everywhere you went, stunningly attractive young women were zooming past on roller skates.

Now roller skating had been relatively popular when I was a kid. But where I grew up, all the streets were dirt or gravel so I'd rarely encountered them. The fad, which had been around since the Great Depression, was rapidly fading out and the big roller rinks where people had still gone to "dance" through the fifties were becoming fewer and further between.

When I'd first moved to Toronto, there was one remaining on Mutual Street. But I only went once. A buddy of mine had just gotten out of jail and arrived on my doorstep with a guy who'd been in for a much longer stretch and that's where he wanted to go to celebrate his newfound freedom.

I got up on skates for the first time there and mostly spent the night hugging the boards as the two Cons tried to pick up girls who could've been their moms and were smart enough to not have anything to do with them.

But California was different. This was a scene revitalized and far removed from the 1940's as well as the Canadian impulse to suggest you better wear kneepads, elbow pads and probably a helmet too.

I also realized that if I wanted to meet any of these bronzed and big-haired blondes, I needed to master the wheels myself. And so I did. And I loved it.

Around the same time, "Dire Straights" released a song called "Skateaway". It was never a hit and probably not even played much. But the pace and the rythmn replicated the skating experience perfectly.

This week, that song happened past me again and brought back memories of a great Summer and a great pastime.

I must leave you now to dig through the garage for a very old set of roller skates.

Enjoy Your Sunday.



Sunday, September 04, 2016

Lazy Sunday #434: Inconceivable


There's a scene in William Goldman's "The Princess Bride" where the arrogant douchebag, Vizzini, finds it "Inconceivable!!!" that the film's hero, Westley, can outmaneuver him in a battle of wits to free the captive Princess Buttercup.

Of course, Westley easily outsmarts him, proving once again that the fatal flaw in people with power is that they always think they got where they are because they're just that much smarter than everyone else.

It's a flaw astonishingly evident in both candidates currently running for the American presidency.

To offer a local example: a couple of weeks ago, Jean-Pierre Blais, the insufferably arrogant douchebag who chairs the CRTC, issued an edict reducing the amount of Canadian participation in Canadian content. And while most of the Creatives in this country found the ruling inconceivable, Blais himself could be found writing letters to craft guilds where he found the fact that they were upset even more inconceivable.

This isn't the first time an arm of the Canadian government has stepped in to gut the country's artists just when they appeared on the verge of making a breakthrough in reaching a national or international audience.

In 1981, the government of Prime Minister Trudeau the first cancelled the film investment program which had kickstarted a thriving film industry on less than 24 hours notice. A move which torpedoed dozens of films in mid-production, tossing hundreds of artists and film techs immediately out of work.

Seven years later, the government of Brian Mulroney promised a ticket levy on foreign product to fund Canadian production and blinked at the last minute when Hollywood studios objected.

In 1999, the CRTC changed the definition of what counted as Canadian content in broadcasting so news and magazine style shows were rendered equal to drama and comedy, drowning dozens of dramatic and comedy projects and costing thousands of jobs.

And who can forget the decade of CRTC incompetence that followed as time and again the needs of both Canadian Creatives and Canadian viewers were pole-axed in favor of ever-growing greed and entitlement within the broadcast community.

I can't count the number of times during that dark time where I attended meetings or conferences where Canadian public officials met Guilds and Unions face to face to insist that they were "on our side" and "things will change" -- and then nothing changed.

So Blais and the other CRTC Commissioners who backed this unbelievably short-sighted decision are no worse than those that have preceded them, appointed by governments leaning both Left and Right.

These are just the self-admiring Vizzinis of the moment.

So how do you get around them?

Well, you can go somewhere else. That works for some. Even worked for me for a long while.

Or you can fight them from here. 

How? 

With the same talents they are trying to deny the world that you have.

In my day, that was the theatre. In a time where Stratford and Regional theatres never did Canadian plays and repeatedly hired foreign talent, a community arose that eventually overcame that system, creating memorable work and launching an infinite number of long and successful careers.

There were also low-budget and later direct-to-video movies, all financed and distributed without a dollar of public money. Maybe you didn't make a lot of cash. But you worked and you got even better at what you did. And after a while you had a level of recognition and body of credits that couldn't be ignored.

These days, it's easier than ever to make and distribute something of your own. I know three guys in my relatively small Canadian city who've built their own green screen studios. Dozens more with broadcast quality digital recording, editing and post production systems. Hell, I've stumbled across teenagers who've forgotten more about CGI than I will ever learn.

If the people at Bell and Rogers or Corus don't recognize your value, you don't have to look very far to find people who will. And once you have something finished you'll quickly discover than Amazon and Netflix and their many online competitors, imitators and challengers are far easier to talk to than the gatekeepers at Canada's traditional networks.

And unlike those networks, these new entities actually have money of their own that they want to invest and don't need to go hat in hand to bureaucrats.

A couple of weeks before Jean-Pierre Blais revealed he's not really as smart as he thinks, Canadian cable provider Telus revealed the winning projects of their Storyhive web series competition.

The winner in BC is also called "Inconceivable". Written by Joel Ashton McCarthy, Rachel Kirkpatrick & Mike Doaga and directed by McCarthy -- it's as good as anything you're likely to see from any of the Boys and Girls in Suits networks.

Yes, it's nice to have the public money deals and an often national even if ever-shifting time slot. But the disrespect of what you do that comes with such perks is becoming more and more intolerable and less and less likely.

But you don't need them. 

And as inconceivable as that seems, it's as true as it has always been.

Trust your talent.

And Enjoy Your Sunday...

  

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Lazy Sunday #433: Pachelbel's Cannon


Yes, I'm aware that the correct spelling in the title should only have one "n" in canon, the correct name for a contrapuntal musical composition featuring a lead melody and a following imitative melody, but I'm trying to make a point here.

Johann Pachelbel was a relatively obscure German composer of the baroque era (approx. 1600 - 1750) who probably remained ba-roke throughout his life because his canon was about the only notable thing he wrote.

And even it disappeared for a couple of hundred years until a French orchestra recorded the piece in the late 1960's. That version was picked up by a San Francisco classical radio station in the 1970's and before long there were dozens of best selling versions everywhere.

I first heard it while rehearsing a play in Toronto sometime in the 70's because the director, who loved the tune, had decided it should background a lengthy monologue I had in the final act.

There's a thing about monologues in theatre, especially the long ones in shows that have really long runs. An actor prepares for a monologue the way a long distance runner maps out a marathon. The content and emotion dictate changes in pace, the same way a runner handles hills or being in the middle of a pack. 

But overtime, you can fall into a pattern of making a meal of it for a full house or being tired and speeding it up to get the damn thing over with, which aren't good choices.

So the background music helped me keep track of where I was and I could also place the more emotional moments where the music would swell or soften behind them, helping move the audience in the direction the playwright wanted them to go.

It got so I really like Pachelbel's Canon. Until the run of the play was extended. And then extended again. And extra shows were added on Friday and Saturday nights. Then it became this annoying earworm.

And even when I wasn't onstage, I couldn't escape it. Though I hadn't been aware of ever hearing this 200 year old composition before that play, it now seemed to turn up on CBC Radio a couple of times a week. They even used snippets for transitions on news programs and their jolly little quiz shows.

For all I know, the Program Director had been caught up in the success of the play or had found a version he didn't have to pay royalties on. Whatever the reason, I finally just stopped listening to the CBC to maintain my sanity.

Eventually the show's run ended. But Pachelbel's Canon didn't go away. To this day, I still turn off the car radio if it comes on. And yet, when other music plays, it somehow still seems to be there.

There have been times I've felt like the tormented killer in Edgar Allen Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart".

And then I learned it wasn't just me. That Johann Pachelbel had managed to use his canon to blow up the rest of music.

Listen and Learn.

And Enjoy Your Sunday...




Sunday, August 21, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 432: Thunder Road


Perhaps it was the lengthy eulogizing which preceded last night's farewell concert by "The Tragically Hip". Perhaps it was all of the passings of icons and friends which have marked 2016. Or maybe it was my own desire to avoid attending an upcoming funeral.

For whatever reason,  I was led this week to a lovely article by Deirdre Sullivan at NPR on the importance of turning up for those things.

I think a lot of people avoid wakes, final viewings and funerals because they're not sure how you're supposed to behave. Everybody grieves in their own way and it's tough to know if you're offending someone by appearing either too upset or not upset enough.

Walking that tightrope is especially tough for those asked to speak at a funeral. Your fondest memory of the departed might actually be the last thing they or their loved ones ever wanted revealed, let alone shared in their darkest hour. 

And appearing too flip or casual can make others wonder if you ever gave a damn about the deceased in the first place.

That fine line -- and what it reveals about us -- has been wonderfully captured in Jim Cummings' film "Thunder Road", this year's winner of the Short Film Grand Jury Prize at The Sundance Festival.

A long-time Indy producer, Cummings became intrigued by a Ricky Gervais quote "It's never too late. Until it's too late. And then it's too late." and decided to try his hand at not only producing an original short, but writing, directing and acting in it as well. 

The final product is not only a brilliant little film, it's touching and hilarious and encapsulates pretty much every emotion everybody feels at a funeral. It's also proof that being compassionate and considerate can be a truly miserable experience.

Enjoy Your Sunday...

Thunder Road from Jim Cummings on Vimeo.


Sunday, August 14, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 431: Courthouse Comics


Like most kids, I was addicted to comic books. If I went missing, my parents knew I could be found sitting on the floor of the Rexall Drug Store or Larry's Confectionery chewing a wad of Double Bubble and reading the latest from the circular rack.

I even drew my own comics which, since photocopiers hadn't been invented yet, were passed hand to hand among my friends.

Years later, by then an actor, I met a lawyer on a Scottish train who was defending a woman accused of murder and invited me to the trial.

It was a fascinating case, filled with as much emotion and drama as the play I was touring, but with far higher real life stakes. That experience turned me into a more than occasional visitor to courthouses, witnessing human conflicts that informed the fiction I was writing.

A couple of years ago, my experience of comic books and courthouses combined when I was hired to write a comic book  that's now used in every Canadian University and hundreds of American law schools to teach Aboriginal law.

But none of this prepared me for what the creators of Cartoon Network's "Rick and Morty" were able to come up with from a brief Floyd County, Georgia preliminary hearing

The real court transcript can be found here.

But the animated version will make your day.

Enjoy Your Sunday.

Sunday, August 07, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 430: How Hollywood Uses You to Sell Movies


This week, a fairly crappy movie entitled "Suicide Squad" opened in North America. The reviews and early word-of-mouth on the $200 Million film hadn't been good.

Now in another time or with another movie, that would've been that. Those who had no interest in the film wouldn't have gone anyway. And those who wanted to see it would've gone anyway, or decided to spend their money on something else realizing a poor box office showing would mean it could be on Netflix before Labor Day.

Instead, we heard a lot about mobs with torches and pitchforks marching on Rotten Tomatoes and other movie review sites. The fanboys had been moved to action and were taking to the barricades to save a beloved comic book franchise while convincing the rest of us we just had to see this picture.

But were they? Or was all that entertainment news and social media activity thunk up by some Hollywood publicist to generate interest in a film that couldn't generate any interest in itself.

Well, it just might be the latter -- and no matter which side of the argument you were on, you were used by corporate Hollywood to make sure nobody at the studio loses their swimming pool or Tesla Model X.

And you need look no further than an earlier Summer flop, the "Ghostbusters" reboot to find proof.

For those not paying attention, Sony recently released a female cast version of the iconic 80's film, investing $144 Million in resetting a beloved tentpole.

But reaction to the film's trailer was decidedly tepid.

And some of those reacting negatively used the film to trash the general idea of women ghostbusters or women in general.

Suddenly, a social media storm arose in which many sprang to the defense of a film they hadn't seen while simultaneously defending feminism or damsels in distress -- concepts which don't exactly share the same ballpark.

Supporting "Ghostbusters" became synonymous with being a strong independent woman or an intelligent and progressive man.

But what if that was all a ruse?

What if the whole debate had been a marketing tool to get people to go see a film that everybody at the studio knew was kinda crappy?

Would you feel used?

Well, you should.

Because you were.

Enjoy Your Sunday.




Monday, August 01, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 429: The Shining Star of Losers




I was watching the Democratic National Convention this week as Bernie Sanders made an eloquent speech, stoically acknowledging that his run for the presidency had come to an end. TV Cameras panned the tear-stained and disconsolate faces of his followers, none of them accepting the reality that he had lost.

While it's well known that everybody loves a winner and I wasn't personally a fan of Senator Sanders, I couldn't help being moved and I started wondering -- why do we all have such a soft spot for losers?

Being a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, you'd think that I'd've figured this out by now. 

But I think it comes down to the fact that we've all experienced losing. We've all failed to achieve something that mattered to us. And we all know how much that hurt.

And no matter how much we disliked, maybe even hated, the person we see being defeated -- a part of us shares their pain, maybe even appreciates how hard they struggled or how they hung onto their ideals in the process.

And part of it too is the fact that they tried. 

No matter how often they were knocked down, no matter the odds, they kept trying.

There's something especially admirable in that.

And maybe no better example than a Japanese race horse named Haru Urara, a horse with a pink "Hello Kitty" mask, an unbroken record of losing and a nation of millions cheering him on.  

Everybody may love a winner. But I think we identify more with the losers.

Enjoy Your Sunday...


The Shining Star of Losers Everywhere from The All-Nighter Room on Vimeo.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Lazy Sunday #428: Spooks-A-Poppin'


All the kids (and a lot of the adults) in my neighborhood are playing "Pokemon Go" hunting enhanced reality creatures near the local parks and soccer field. It's a fun evolution of video games that's taken most of the country by storm.

And the possibilities this offers for those of us in show business are endless. 

I heard a local DJ map out a version of the game that could be marketed alongside "Ghostbusters". First you'd see the movie and then you'd head outside to hunt for ghosts. When you found one, you'd turn on your mobile phone's "Proton stream" to capture it. But you'd need a couple of other people to launch their proton streams as well (being careful not to cross them) and then somebody else to open up their cell phone "trap". 

Entertainment. Enhanced movie. Community. All combined to create a fun, feel good adventure.

Like a lot of things in show business -- Pokemon Go is copying what's gone before while revealing a wildly profitable future.

Back in my day, we only had movies. But once in a while, somebody like Producer William Castle would come along to sell something like "13 Ghosts" -- where you were handed a special viewer as you entered the theatre which would allow you to see the ghosts in the movie. Ghosts invisible unless you used Castle's special device.

Castle would later go on to make films like "The Tingler" in which seats in the theatre were wired to shock audience members into believing they were being attacked by the titular character.

But these highly successful marketing schemes were really just an enhancement of something that had been going on in movie houses since the 1930's -- "The Spook Show".

I went to my first Spook Show when I was about 12. A local movie house was screening a couple of classic Frankenstein films on Halloween. But there was more to the show than that. 

There was a magician doing spooky illusions, Dracula and the Mummy wandering the aisles looking for victims, and best of all -- between the two movies -- a woman in a cage who transformed into a Gorilla before our shocked eyes -- said Ape then breaking from the cage to chase us all into the lobby to buy more popcorn.


This was a sideshow attraction accomplished with lighting and skrims that's still around today and still sends shocked rubes scrambling for the safety of the midway at its climax.

Over the last while, I've blogged about 3D and VR and other ways films are marketed. And while you might be able to come up with an enhanced reality app for your own film, perhaps the way things are going is actually back where they've been before -- offering audiences something more than just going to the local multiplex to see a film.

Maybe your rom-com should be introduced by a set from a local stand-up comic. Perhaps your audience could have their own laser blasters to fire at the invading aliens in your sci-fi, CGI epic.

And what would be the harm of augmenting your horror film with a live spook show.

It might ensure that you get a longer theatrical run (and more publicity) before you disappear into the Netflix back catalog.

If you want to see the future, it never hurts to glance back into the past.

Enjoy Your Sunday.




Monday, July 18, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 427: Black Sunday In The Magic Kingdom


I don't think my family owned a TV set during the Summer of 1955. But if we had, I'm sure it would have been tuned to the same channel 50% of televisions were tuned to the night of July 17th -- the live broadcast of the opening of Disneyland.

From the moment we did get a TV set (maybe a year or two later) the Sunday night Disney hour was sacrosanct. I owned a "Davey Crockett" coonskin cap, dressed as "Zorro" on Halloween and followed the adventures of "Johnny Tremaine", "Texas John Slaughter" and "Elfego Baca". 

Interspersed with these were Mickey Mouse Cartoons, wildlife documentaries and Werner Von Braun explaining how we'd get to the moon -- as well as Walt Disney himself extolling the charms of his Magic Kingdom.

I didn't make it to Disneyland until I was in my mid-20's and visiting friends in Los Angeles. They promised to take me there my first Saturday in town and even fixed me up with a "beautiful California Blonde" named Bambi as my date.

Bambi turned out to be quite beautiful and blonde -- and was also 12 years old. But any disappointment I might've felt was short lived because -- because the company of a kid (especially one who knew how to get past the lines for "E" Ticket rides) helped the magic of the place come alive.

As of today, 61 years later, 3/4 of a Billion people have visited Disneyland. But what a lot of people don't know is that it almost didn't make it past opening day -- a day that became known as "Black Sunday".

Disney's skill at promotion and the popularity of his films and TV show had raised interest in the park to a fever pitch. And despite a carefully chosen guest list of family and friends, more than 30,000 people arrived at the front gates. Most with forged tickets.

People were seen literally tossing their children over the heads of early arrivals to make sure they got to the front of the line. Overwhelmed ticket takers had no choice but to open the gates to anyone who wanted in.

Food ran out. Rides broke down under unexpected traffic and the Paddle-wheeler "Mark Twain" ran aground from the sheer weight of its passengers. 

Sleeping Beauty's castle was pillaged for souvenirs and restrooms couldn't handle the overflow -- partly because a Plumber's strike had forced Walt Disney to choose between building the number required and making sure the plaster elephants on the African Cruise ride could shoot water from their trunks.

And the entire fiasco was broadcast live, with various celebrity hosts cutting back and forth to maintain the feeling that nothing was wrong, while everything collapsed around them.

That broadcast is still with us, a reminder of just what it's like to do live television and a testament to how professionals behave in a crisis.

61 years ago today.

Enjoy Your Sunday.




Monday, July 11, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 426: And The Horse You Rode In On...


"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"-- which Dorothy Parker re-jigged to "You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think" -- which brings us to actors, who are often considered the whores of the culture because they'll do just about anything to make a buck.

Now, having been one (an actor) for a big chunk of my career, I can confirm that actors lie a lot. Mostly to get hired. Not that they lie any more than writers and directors do to get hired or producers do to come up with production money or simply to get laid. But only actors will admit they lie. 

The reason is simple. The root from which the word actor derives is "action" -- he who does something. And actors are always being asked if they can do something most people can't. 

Can you ride a horse?

Can you water ski?

Can you play tennis?

Nobody ever asks "Can you act?" since that's supposed to be a given. But this myriad of other skills which might be required of fictional characters takes up a lot of most actors lives. In addition to acting classes and voice lessons, actors spend a lot of time learning to do things most people can't -- and which they likely will never have to do either.

At the bottom of all resumes you'll inevitably find a list of unique things each individual actor can do. Juggle. Kick-box. Ballroom dance. Make paper airplanes.

When I was in high school I was into gymnastics, so that was on my list. But I soon learned that knowing how to do something might get you the job, but it didn't necessarily mean you'd get to do the job.

Allow me to explain. 

I got a call from my agent about a commercial where they needed somebody who had some gymnastic skills. Okay. I could probably do that. So I get an audition. At the audition somebody asks me if I have any gymnastic experience and I go through the list of what I can do. They seem happy. So happy I get booked for the job.

A week later, I turn up at some gymnasium with a whole crew and some ad agency guys. In the middle of the floor is a mat and hanging from the ceiling are a set of gymnastic rings. Now, I know Olympic athletes make those things look easy. But they're about the hardest thing you can do in a gym. 

I'd never been on a set and the director had a whole choreography he'd designed based on being in Munich in 1972 or something. After he laid out a routine only about 8 guys in the world could probably do -- moving from a Giant Swing into an Iron Cross and then a Kip Over to whatever. I politely explained that the rings weren't on the list of gymnastic events at which I was skilled and in addition nobody had ever asked if I was some kind of ring expert.

Everybody freaked out. And I was suddenly another lying actor and dispatched from the set while they frantically tried to reach their number 2 pick at his day job.

I'm pretty sure they couldn't reach him, or number 3 or number 4, because by the time the commercial aired, the poor guy they hired was doing somersaults -- and not doing them very well either.

This experience served me well later in life, when as a producer I would ask if an actor could ride a horse, knowing full well he or she would swear they could. Whoever we hired was them immediately dispatched to a riding school to "brush up" their abilities while the riding instructor was told he was getting somebody who'd never even seen a horse in real life.

Nobody got embarrassed. The production stayed on time and on budget. And the next time the actor was asked to ride a horse there wouldn't be any need for lying.

Which brings me to this lovely little anecdote from Sam Shepherd, a fine actor, superb writer and all round nice guy, who honestly does know how to ride a horse.

Enjoy Your Sunday.



Monday, July 04, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 425: Please Get Over Yourself


The Brexit vote just might be the straw that finally broke this camel's back. Although it had been coming for more than a year, it somehow wasn't on anybody' radar because -- well, because who would be so stupid as to do something like that, right?

And then the minute the people of the UK made their decision, there was a momentary gasp and then a flood of "What the fuck were they thinking?" and "Oh my God, the sky is falling!". Not to mention a million people in my Facebook feed alone spewing venom and worse on anybody connected with the "Leave" side, branding them as racists, xenophobes, anti-LGBTQ or anything else that might get somebody else to be pissed off at them too.

The Media were pissed off. The Politicians were pissed off. Stock Brokers were pissed off. Bookies. British Ex-Pats who made their own Brexits a generation ago. Hell, anybody who just needed something new to get jacked up about.

Things got so bad, CBC Radio had a panel of academics claiming some things were far too important to allow ordinary people to make decisions about them. Of course these were Canadian Academics, unable to come up with anything original on their own, so they culled their thesis from British Sources.

Isn't it interesting how some people suffer a loss and decide to suck it up and move on, while others come to the conclusion that their defeat is proof that Democracy isn't such a good thing after all? I mean, it was while their side was winning, but now -- well...

But what the Brexit "discussion" really brought home to me was just how wrapped up so many of us have become in needing the things we believe in, or don't really know much about but they really seem to matter to people we either like or look up to -- needing those things to be what EVERYBODY believes in.

And meanwhile the same people wonder where ISIS comes up with its cockamamie "Everybody has to see the world our way" shit.

Lately, I've had a long Saturday morning commute. Normally the news junkie in me would use that time to catch up on the latest headlines and commentary. But since all that newscasters seem to talk about these days are Trump and Hillary and I can't stand either of them, I've had to surf the dial.

A few weeks ago, I discovered a Canadian Money Show called "Money Talks" hosted by business analyst Michael Campbell. It's likely syndicated to a local station near you. And if it's not you can find it online here.

Now, shows about the economy aren't everybody's cup of whatever you're mostly drinking these days. But what I like about Campbell's approach is -- he kinda cuts through the bullshit. You might not like what he has to say, but it invariably makes sense -- and that doesn't just apply to your retirement portfolio.

What follows is some of what he had to say a couple of days ago about Brexit. Which is mostly about getting over yourself and your holier than thou opinions.

It's worth a listen.

Enjoy Your Sunday.





Monday, June 27, 2016

Lazy Sunday # 424: The Free State of Jones


The night before the Brexit vote, I went to a screening of a new film called "The Free State of Jones". Written and directed by Gary Ross, and starring Matthew McConnaughey, it promised to tell an untold story of the American Civil War.

24 hours later as I watched the reaction to the British decision to leave the European Union, I realized it was as much about the truth of today's world as the one which existed a century and half ago.

It's a flawed film on many levels, but powerful in the way it clarifies the difference between most of us and those who strive to control the events which impact our lives.

It's a film about doing what's right as opposed to what the world around you deems appropriate.

Please see it. At the very least, it will help you understand the Brexit. And...

Enjoy Your Sunday.