Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Time For Some Inglewood Jack

Almost at the end of Round two and the Mad Pulp Bastard continues to lead the way. His urine test arrived a couple of days ago. I don't know why you had to fill a Colt .45 quart bottle, Cunningham. But I suppose I should've known better than to issue the challenge in the first place...

In lieu of opening that bottle and in tribute I post the following blend of hockey and Pulp...

This week's standings:

1 Bill Cunningham 99
2 Michael Foster 88
3 Micah Reid 86
4 Dave Moses 85
5 Will Dixon 83
6 Larry Raskin 82
7 John Whaley 77
8 Jim Henshaw 74
9 Denis McGrath 72
10 Mark Askwith 70
11 Mark Farrell 69
12 Juniper 68

And one final thing for all you Canadian members of the Pool...

This morning, members of Canada's Parliament are gathering in a Committee Room in Ottawa to smear the reputation of our National Team Captain Shane Doan for their own petty political purposes.

Shane's appointment has been called into question by opposition leaders Stephane Dion, Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe, over an incident in which he was accused of uttering a derogatory remark to a French-Canadian referee.

Doan has repeatedly denied he uttered a slur in a game played Dec. 13, 2005, and handled by an all French-Canadian officiating crew. The NHL investigated the incident and completely exonerated him.

Doan says he was trying to calm down goaltender Curtis Joseph, who was upset that a penalty hadn't been called in a game against the Canadiens. As an enraged Joseph hovered around centre ice, Doan skated over to him and yelled: "Four French referees in Montreal, Cuje, figure it out."

But that's not good enough for Canada's politicians, who waited 17 months and the start of International competition so they could grab the spotlight.

NDP Leader Jack Layton has said that Mr. Doan's captaincy "casts a shadow" on the Canadian team. Bloc Québécois Leader Gilles Duceppe says the NHL is not a legitimate tribunal. And Stephane Dion....?

There is a Liberal Candidate named Farhan Chak running in the Alberta Riding of Edmonton-Mill Woods-Beaumont. He was charged with firing a shotgun into a nightclub after a knife fight. Like Mr. Doan, he was exonerated.

Mr. Chak has also published articles that blame the Israeli government for slaughtering, raping and enslaving Palestinians, and suggesting the West masterminded terrorist attacks to discredit Muslims.

Despite questions in Parliament two days ago, about Mr. Chak’s fitness as a candidate, Mr. Dion has stood by him.

So – whatever a politician might say or his indisputable innocence after he's vindicated is one thing but it's okay to smear an ordinary Canadian's reputation in this way?

Please send your MP an email this morning, perhaps asking if there aren't more important things they could be doing.

Here's more from the hockey community courtesy of TSN:

The NHL stands by its decision to clear Shane Doan and says politicians should mind their own business.

Colin Campbell, the NHL's executive vice-president and director of hockey operations, said Wednesday he is mystified that Canadian politicians have revived the Doan controversy.

It's been almost a year and a half since the league cleared the Phoenix Coyotes forward of allegations that he made a derogatory remark to a French-Canadian official during a 2005 game in Montreal.

"I stand by my original comments after our investigation," Campbell told The Canadian Press. "But I would add to it at this point in time, it's rather embarrassing to all Canadian hockey fans we're rehashing this again, particularly when Hockey Canada and Shane Doan are representing and working hard in Moscow right now, competing for our country. It's ridiculous."

The Phoenix Coyotes defended Doan in a statement. "As a member of our organization for 12 seasons, Shane Doan has been a model of sportsmanship, dedication, and excellence for our organization and the Phoenix community," the statement read. "He has repeatedly shown his compassion for people through his many goodwill endeavors, and has held himself to the highest moral standards.

"The Phoenix Coyotes are honored to have Shane Doan represent our organization at the World Championships as captain of Team Canada"

Others in the hockey world also rallied around Doan on Wednesday.

"Totally ridiculous," Canucks head coach Vigneault, a Quebec City native and former coach of the Montreal Canadiens, said in Vancouver. "In the heat of the battle things get said sometimes, a lot worse than being called a French frog or whatever.
"He says he didn't say it. Even if he did, come on," added Vigneault. "If our politicians, French or English, if that's the only thing right now they have to worried about . There's a lot more important things going on right now in society. It is utterly, utterly stupid, not to say embarrassing."

Superstar goalie Martin Brodeur of the New Jersey Devils also wished the politicians had laid off. "It's unfortunate," he said in Ottawa before Game 4 of his playoff series against the Senators. "Coming from Montreal, you can understand that people don't like that when there's speculation over language and whatever.

"I know Shane really good and I don't see him saying that. All these years in the league I never had a problem with it so for me to hear that other people had a problem, I have a hard time to understand it. But everyone has a right to react different ways about situations."

Senators forward Mike Comrie played with Doan in Phoenix and defended his former teammate. "If you know Shane Doan, you would assume he would never make the remarks he's being accused of," said Comrie. "I played with him for three years and I never heard him swear. He's a person people respect."

Canucks forward Alex Burrows of Pincourt, Que., also didn't understand why the politicians were fussing. "I think it's over the limit," said Burrows. "I think it's something that happened two or three years ago.

"The NHL didn't make anything about it, they probably studied the case and nothing came upon it. Now it goes to the government and they are making a big story about it?
"It's kind of funny it's still going on. Hopefully Shane will still be team captain and keep doing the great job for the country."

While Doan, who denies making a slur, has been exonerated by the NHL, some politicians have questioned the league's investigation. Campbell says the NHL followed the rules.

"We have a protocol in these situations that we stand by," said Campbell. "And we use it in every situation where we have accusations regarding slurs or whatever it may be. For some of these politicians to get involved, I would have to think they've got other things pending and they should stay out of our business."

The issue erupted on Parliament Hill this week as opposition parties criticized Doan's selection as Canadian captain. Members of the Conservative government agreed with them that Hockey Canada should be asked to tell their side of the story and voted with the opposition to schedule a hearing before a parliamentary committee to explain why Doan was named captain.

Hockey Canada president Bob Nicholson, chairman Rene Marcil, and senior director Brad Pascall will appear Thursday before the House of Commons' Official Languages Committee.

They were not forced to testify - but could have faced a subpoena had they rejected an initial request from the committee.

Sport Canada was also summoned, and has also agreed to attend. The agency receives $150 million in federal funding and is responsible for Hockey Canada.


Mef said...

I am done. Well I will be after tonight.


Bill Cunningham said...

Well, Jim -

The reason I sent you such a large sample was because you mentioned awhile back you were doing some furniture refinishing, and I've found nothing better than the urine of a mad pulp bastard for stripping paint and varnish from wood and metal.

Just be sure to wear rubber gloves and have adequate ventilation...

(The state of California has determined this product causes insanity in laboratory mice. Results may vary. Best when served chilled)

Anonymous said...

I'm close enough to the bastard in the pool that I can smell an odd boiled turnip-like smell, but I fear I won't draw near enough to take him down.

Regarding Doan, I'm writing a letter to my MP who happens to be Jack Layton and I'm going to point out how ashamed I am of him and his foolish friends on the hill.