How To Buy Me A Birthday Present

Yeah, it’s that day again. And thanks to social media, I’ve been inundated with salutations and best wishes. (Thank you).

Some people still yearn for the old days, when you got cards and presents and a cake with a stripper in it. But not me.

Okay, maybe I still hold out hope for that kind of cake…

But let’s be honest, there was a lot of stress for the people around you on your birthday. A lot of them forgot and had to do the “belated” thing which, even when it was legit, made it clear that your date of birth was far from one of their priorities.

Those who did remember had to spend an hour at the drugstore thumbing through cards, searching for one that wouldn’t be too schmaltzy or was actually funny. And then they went through the discomfort of wondering whether you’d get the joke or be offended because it maybe had a little too much truth to it.

Then they had to find a present using the same criteria or a place to buy you a drink or some excuse so everybody could “Surprise!” you.

Let’s admit it. The whole thing was a lot of Agita for everybody involved.

Now it’s easier. Some algorithm keeps track, gives you a timely notice, you push a few buttons and the birthday celebrant goes “Aww, how thoughtful!” and everybody gets on with their lives.

Although I do miss the presents…

And this morning, I started thinking that there should be a way to make the gift giving just as painless and economical.

I came up with the idea of having people give themselves a present in honor of the birthday celebrant. Maybe they could just encourage other people to buy themselves something, so the present remained as cost efficient as the electronic greeting.

So here’s what I’d like for my birthday this year…

If you're in Ottawa or know somebody there, even if it's only your MP or a CRTC Commissioner -- please ask them to go to the historic Mayfair Theatre on Bank Street tonight at 9:00 pm to see "Slaughter Nick For President" -- the best documentary ever made about the effect Canadian TV has had on the world.

For those who don’t know the story behind the film, it’s here.

If they miss the movie tonight, they can still see it tomorrow at 8:30 or Monday and Tuesday at 9:00. And let's be honest, with no pre-season hockey, how much is there that's better to do in Ottawa this weekend anyway?

The point is -- this is the film's theatrical debut and if it does well, it gets a wider release. Meaning you can enjoy it in your own hometown and lots more people can discover the true power and influence of Canadian television.

So let's get on that! A birthday present that doesn't cost you anything and gets more people interested in Canadian TV.

In other words -- cake for everybody!

Maybe even one big enough to hide a…