Saskatchewarm

After surviving the worst winter in about 40 years, a lot of people in my original home province of Saskatchewan have been wondering what’s taking Global warming so long to show up.

Today, their Premier, Brad Wall, decided to do something about that which will likely make him “Premier for Life” if he can pull it off. He offered the Caribbean islands of Turks and Caicos the opportunity to become part of Saskatchewan.

Now, the idea of connecting the landlocked, frozen for at least half the year Canadian prairies with unending sunshine and surf is not as far-fetched as it sounds.

Prime Minister Robert Borden wanted to annex Turks and Caicos way back in 1917 and the islands themselves have (more than once) applied to become Canada’s 11th Province, suggesting the marriage wouldn’t find much opposition in either place.

And I couldn’t agree more. In fact, this just might be the kind of thing Bono of U2 was talking about a few years back when he cozied up to all of us insisting that “What the world needs is more Canada”.

And he’s right. Prince Edward Island’s Premier immediately offered to partner with Saskatchewan on bringing a little sunshine to our shores.

But I’m thinking PEI and the other provinces need to find their own partners in order to really get more Canada into the world.

Given the size of the Haitian diaspora in Montreal, it only makes sense that Quebec take in Haiti. It wouldn’t interfere with the corruption in either place and moving the eternal construction gridlock from La Belle Provence to Port au Prince might finally get that town rebuilt from the last earthquake.

How about Ontario pitches in and takes over the other half of Hispaniola to make sure the Blue Jays get first crack at all the great ballplayers from the Dominican Republic.

Alberta already has one of the largest concentrations of Ukrainians outside of Ukraine, so maybe they should take them over. Not only would it piss off Putin to have somebody nicer wanting what he wants; but suddenly there’s a place for all that Oil Sands oil to go (further pissing off Putin) since who’d be able to stop Alberta from building a pipeline to itself.

Obviously Nova Scotia would jump at the chance to annex their namesake, both solving the Scottish problem of surviving if they separate from the UK and getting rid of the import duties on Scotch.

And BC taking over Hong Kong would probably make condo prices in Vancouver a whole lot more affordable.

I’m just spit-ballin’ here. But I think it’s obvious that we’re doing fairly well while a lot of the planet is struggling. We’ve got room for a bunch of their people (if they like the cold or have a tax fetish) and they’ve got all kinds of cultures while we haven’t been able to come up with so much as one in 150 years.

Brad Wall, you’re a genius! I might even move back to Saskatchewan if this happens -– to the warm, most Southerly part, of course.